Re: The Grand Staircase

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 26th 2010, 3:57 am

"Yeah, I know, Sev." She sighed and stared at a crack in the stairs. "Well you know about Blaise and I, and how Draco threw a fit and left. And I guess you know by now that he's back, considering you sleep in the same room as him. We fought again. He wanted to fix things, but... I don't know. I couldn't let myself." She hardly believed the words she was speaking. It sounded so strange, even if it was how she felt about it. "It was like I didn't want to fix it. And he couldn't understand." Pansy turned to look at him. "Is it so bad to want to try and find something that won't lead to yet another heartbreak?"

Guest April 26th 2010, 4:03 am

"Pansy, can I say something and you'll promise not to hit me or curse me or something?" he asked, deciding to be blunt about all of this if he could.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 26th 2010, 4:04 am

Pansy took a breath. "Fine. I promise," she half laughed. He knew her well, if he made her promise not to do something like that.

Guest April 26th 2010, 4:07 am

"Good," he said, taking a long look at her. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH PANSY BAMF PARKINSON!? BECAUSE PANSY BAMF PARKINSON IS NOT STUPID OR DEPRESSING AND SHE MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT GIVE UP, PARTICULARLY ON THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER, LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE GUY YOU'VE LOVED FOREVER. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT I AM HEARING ALL OF THIS AND HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU ARE AN IMPOSTOR!" he yells, shaking his finger at her in a very BAD PUPPY manner. "This is stupid. You love him, and you can't run from that. I know it, and you know it, and he knows it, and he loves you too. And nobody, not even Blaise, can give you what you need other than Draco. Because he's about the only one I can think of that might possibly stand a chance of actually being able to handle you and your BAMFness. And you belong together and this whole thing is really PISSING ~~EOWYN~~ ME OFF."

**Remus Lupin** April 26th 2010, 4:12 am

[Amen to that. *bows down to Eowyn's awesomeness*]

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 26th 2010, 4:21 am

[*headdesk* Very slight Blansy v 2.0 spoilers have to be included. MEH.]

Pansy almost laughed at him and the ridiculous way he waggled his finger at her. "You know. You're kind of right. What the hell is wrong with me, Sev?" She looked away from him, putting her face in her hands. She sat there for a moment, just thinking, before she spoke again, looking at him. "But I can't make myself do this again. Not when I think about how it went all the times we tried before." Her brows were furrowed, but she showed no sign of anything remotely like tears for once when talking about him. "That's a sign of insanity you know - trying the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. I'm not insane, Sev. I've seen what will happen before, and I find it damn near impossible to convince myself it won't happen again. I can't put myself through that again. I just can't. Love him or not, it never ends well for me." She thought about his last statement though, that Draco was the only one who could handle her. It was true, especially after what she'd experienced last night. It wasn't the same with Blaise, not that she had anything to compare it to, but something felt off about it. She couldn't feel comfortably giving him control, and she'd learned it the hard way. She let out a long sigh, crossing her arms on her knees and resting her forehead on them. "I miss him," she whimpered, nearly inaudible.

Guest April 26th 2010, 4:38 am

"Pansy, did you really just say that you weren't insane? Because I could have sworn you just said that," he said incredulously, but giving her a hug. "I know you do. And that's why I'm not going to let you give up on him. Pansy, yes, you've been hurt. But he's been hurt too, alright? And he's trying so hard right now to make things right. Neither of you want to be hurt again, and you both miss each other, so much. Please listen to me, and don't throw it away for good. I don't really have a place in saying this, but you two.. you're just right for each other, you just are. And I just can't let you do this to him, or yourself. Pansy, open your eyes. You're about the bravest girl I know, ever. And I'll be damned before I let you walk away like this. Because that's cowardly. And the Pansy I know would never do that. She couldn't."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 26th 2010, 4:47 am

"He's trying hard? Trying hard to what? Throw lamps at the wall? Go from telling me I'm a whore and a bitch one day to asking me to fix this the next? How am I supposed to deal with that, Sev? I can't take his changes in opinion on me every day. I can't go from in love to heartbroken all the time. That's why I tried whatever's going on with Blaise. Because I know he can't break my heart." She paused a moment, feeling a little guilty. "I guess he can't break what he doesn't have. A little cruel of me." She stared at him for a minute, her stoic face slowly softening. "I know I shouldn't throw it all away. And really, I can't. I've tried and tried to stop loving him, and I can't." She lifted her hand, pointing at him in a playfully threatening way. "And I KNOW you did NOT just call me a coward," she said, narrowing her eyes but unable to hide her smirk.

Guest April 26th 2010, 5:01 am

Severus looked appalled at hearing that he'd called Pansy those things, and made a mental note to whack Draco upside the head with his potions textbook. "He didn't mean those things, I'm sure of it. Not that it makes it okay that he said them, because it doesn't. His opinions of you aren't changing, they're the same as ever- he just wishes they would change, because he doesn't like this either, being hurt, and hurting you. I can see it in his eyes, and in his words," he said. He's suddenly quite distinctively reminded that he knows exactly what she's doing to Blaise, who he feels a rush of pity for. He had to resist the urge to slap Pansy, for using him like this, much in the same way that Remus had used him. Blaise loved Pansy, as Severus had loved Remus. And here she was, using him to distract herself from the only person who'd ever really had her heart, despite what Blaise might believe. He bites back his words and stares at her in silence, repressing his desire to tell her exactly what he thought of what she was doing. "And I did just call you a coward. Because only a coward would do what you're doing, using Blaise like this, because you don't want to deal with what really matters to you," he said. He did not return her smile.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 26th 2010, 6:34 am

Pansy's brows pressed together again and she looked away from Severus, knowing what he thought of her. Truthfully, she'd thought it of herself, but had been denying it until she'd seen it in Sev's eyes just now. She got the sudden urge to just let herself fall and roll right down the steps right now, just to fall unconscious for a while and... no. That was even more stupid and cowardly and she had no idea what was happening to her. These boys were going to kill her unless she did something about it, and soon. She couldn't answer Severus for fear of shouting at him or hitting him. She knew he was right and it pissed her off. "It's not that easy, and you damn well know it, Severus." Her voice shook now, but her face managed to stay strong. All but her eyes, which always seemed to reveal more than she wanted. "I just need to talk to him again."

Guest April 26th 2010, 6:39 am

-passes out at computer and snores. will respond in the morning-

Nikki Orwell April 26th 2010, 2:05 pm

[-feels bad for Pansy- -would hug her IC, but knows that means torture-]

**Romilda Vane** April 26th 2010, 7:31 pm

[AWWWWWWW]

Guest April 27th 2010, 4:52 am

Pansy Parkinson wrote:Pansy's brows pressed together again and she looked away from Severus, knowing what he thought of her. Truthfully, she'd thought it of herself, but had been denying it until she'd seen it in Sev's eyes just now. She got the sudden urge to just let herself fall and roll right down the steps right now, just to fall unconscious for a while and... no. That was even more stupid and cowardly and she had no idea what was happening to her. These boys were going to kill her unless she did something about it, and soon. She couldn't answer Severus for fear of shouting at him or hitting him. She knew he was right and it pissed her off. "It's not that easy, and you damn well know it, Severus." Her voice shook now, but her face managed to stay strong. All but her eyes, which always seemed to reveal more than she wanted. "I just need to talk to him again."

Severus sighed, unable to stay angry at Pansy. He wrapped her in a warm hug, trying to be as comforting as he could, which he knew wasn't very much, given that he wasn't Draco. "I know, Pansy. I'm sorry. But you needed to hear that," he said, feeling horribly sorry for her. "Yes, you do. But is there anything I can do to help you feel better right now? I have some chocolate frogs in my dorm. Or I could let you borrow Kerbit for the night. He's a great friend and he ALWAYS listens, even if he doesn't respond. Well, normally respond, he makes exceptions when you're really tired or drunk," he said, nodding seriously.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 27th 2010, 5:37 am

[Please ignore any future typos as I have had 9283472394825 times too much caffeine today and am still inhaling it by the cupfull, plus there is an enormous bandage on my pointer finger, plus I'm probably too lazy/hyped up/fingerly disabled to bother fixing them.]

Pansy leaned gratefully into his hug. "I did. Thanks for actually telling it to me. Most people wouldn't, you know." Her almost smile disappeared at the mention of chocolate frogs. "Merlin, no. No chocolate." She shook her head, staring off down the stairs. "And I don't know if Draco would appreciate you giving Kerbit to me, even for one night. I probably shouldn't." She laughed a little as he nodded like it was true, not sure if she should believe it or not. She was lucky to have Severus who wasn't afraid to tell her like it was. Sometimes she needed that metaphorical slap in the face. A physical slap in the face would have been a step too far though. Someone would get hurt, and she knew it wasn't going to be her.

[Edit: Ok. I lie. I'm too much of a grammar freak to leave typos. *headdesk* No promises for later though *is doing projects at the same time as this*]

Guest April 27th 2010, 5:50 am

"Draco is no longer Kerbit's daddy. He abandoned poor Kerbit when he left, so I adopted him," he said sadly. "It's okay though! I'M AN AWESOME FROGGIE DADDY!" he said with a laugh, trying to lighten things up. "No, most people would probably sit and nod in agreement with you and hope you didn't skewer them or burn them alive. But I'm not most people, I'm the fucking Froggie King, and Pansy Flower better listen to him," he said with a smile, holding her closer. "You'll be okay. It all will, you always are."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 27th 2010, 6:04 am

Pansy laughed a little at him; it was impossible not to. "That's probably true, but you're getting a little overconfident in your authority over me, I think." She smirked at him, reaching down absent-mindedly to wipe dirt from her shoe. "I hope you're right about that, Sev. I wish I knew where to even begin looking for him. It was never hard before, I could always find him. Now, I'm not so sure. I haven't seen him since we fought."

Guest April 27th 2010, 6:08 am

Severus patted her on the shoulder, smiling. "I know where he normally is, these days. He rarely leaves the dormitory, save for classes and food. Actually, he doesn't really leaves his bed, or his pillow, much at all. He's been insanely depressed about you choosing Blaise over him. He barely moves," he said honestly, not bothering to lie for Draco, there just wasn't any point.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 27th 2010, 6:14 am

"Oh." It was all she could think to say. That was the last thing she'd expected Severus to tell her, and it shocked her. She couldn't imagine Draco just lying in bed all day because of her. Her chest felt tight and she had to look at the ground. "I guess I could go there and talk to him. Or have him meet me someplace. I don't know what I'll say to him when we finally talk anyway. I've fucked this up, bad."

Guest April 27th 2010, 6:19 am

"No, you both did. He never should have said the things he did, or acted the way he has. But you've both fucked up, and you both still love each other, and want to make things right again. And you'll make them that way. You will. Because you're Pansy BAMF Parkinson and if you want something you damn well better get it," he said with a grin. "Or somebody usually gets hurt."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 27th 2010, 6:22 am

She let her head fall on his shoulder as he spoke, laughing because not only was it funny, it was accurate. It had happened too many times before to deny. "Yeah. You're right." She sighed and stood up. "I guess I should go find him, then. Or at least send him a note for where to find me. I don't know. Thanks, Sev. So much. You're a great friend to me, more than I probably deserve sometimes." She squeezed his shoulder and headed up the stairs past him, pausing at the top to shout over her shoulder. "And congrats again with Lily!"

Guest April 27th 2010, 6:35 am

"Thanks," he called after her, standing up to go to his dorm as intended before he'd run into her. You're a great friend to me, more than I probably deserve sometimes. No, Pansy, I'm not. I've been a horrible friend, and I'll never forgive myself for that. I'm so sorry. He sighed and left the stairs for his room.

Claire McCann April 28th 2010, 7:10 am

Faye walked up the staircase, before she plopped down on one of the steps. She had no destination because she had only wanted to escape the dormitories. Her head ached with all the flashbacks of what had just happened.

**Scorpius Malfoy** April 28th 2010, 7:36 am

Scorpius walks quickly down the steps hoping to find Faye soon. His hair was wet and matted onto his forehead, from having to quickly shower and relieve himself. "Faye," he whispers coming to a step when he sees her a few steps below him. He slows his pace and then sits down next to her. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea, I swear. I never would have done any of that if I had known they were there," he rambles.

Claire McCann April 28th 2010, 7:40 am

Faye turned her head to see him and shook her head, not wanting to speak. If she talked, she would most likely begin to cry. If she cried, she would hate herself for the rest of her life. She leaned into him and muttered, very quietly, "It's not your fault. I should have recognized someone was there when we thought someone was in the bed. I should have," Her lower lip trembled and she buried her face into his chest, "I'm an idiot. I'm so stupid."

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