Re: Slytherin Table [FREE ROLE PLAY AREA]

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy watched as he got up, frozen to her seat for a moment. He'd apologized. And we all know Pansy will take an apology from Draco and just melt and it'll be okay all over again. "Draco, wait." When he didn't turn around, she got up and followed him out.

[Draco Malfoy]

She followed him out of the common room and through the dungeons before they came up on the main floor and headed toward the Great Hall. She noticed him looking at her, and turned her head to look back at him as he addressed her. Oh, so he head noticed. Of course he had. He always noticed the things she didn't really want him to, but could he notice how much she liked him? Of course not. She chewed on her lip for a moment before answering him softly. "I just... talking to Bellatrix didn't seem like something you'd do if you were actually not interested in the Death Eaters." She kept her eyes on him for a moment before looking away, staring ahead of them again. "Just seemed a bit contradictory from what you told me in the parlor at my house." Honestly, she felt a little betrayed. Lied to. She wondered if Draco was having second thoughts, or if he was simply under more pressure from his father about it. She hoped sincerely that it wasn't actually his own personal interest in it growing. She wasn't sure she could deal with that, with Draco becoming one of the Death Eaters. It was all well and good for their parents, but she didn't want her Draco in it. She internally smacked herself. No matter what she wished, he was not 'her' Draco. He probably never would be, and she knew she should stop thinking of him as such. "So if you could tell me what that was about, that'd be great, because I'm pretty sure I just don't understand."

Draco watched her carefully as she thought about an answer. He looked away as she spoke, he knew what it had looked like and honestly he didn't want to lie to her about anything but it didn't feel like he had a choice. "It was about making connections. Even if I don't want to go into it I still have to keep up the facade. What do you think my father would do if he found out that I wasn't following his instructions and talking to other death eaters, that I hadn't changed my routine. And Bellatrix is family so I talk to her anyway, she is one of the best people I could talk to, with her I won't need anyone else." He shrugged and glanced over at her then turned to open the doors to the great hall, "There isn't that much more to it, all I know is that my father told me to talk to my cousin and that as far as I know I won't have to deal with anyone else as long as I keep regularly talking to her." He knew this was a lie and that he would have to start making contacts with the others in order to build up a power base but he wasn't about to tell her that. Sitting down at the table, he put his bag on the bench and she slid in next to him as usual. He reached across and put some cereal in his bowl, pouring rather a lot of milk on it. Why was she questioning him? He knew that she was concerned about him but that didn't give her the right to question him about his actions like he was an unruly school boy. "Also any information about what I might go through is useful, or do you want me going in blind come Christmas?"

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy listened in silence as he spoke. She followed him to the table and took up her usual seat at his side but didn't bother grabbing any food yet. Something didn't feel right, but why wouldn't he tell her the truth? He'd always let her know what was going on when she asked in the past, so it only made sense that she should trust him now as well. It still didn't make it any easier to hear. Even if he was still not interested in it, talking to Bellatrix could change that. It was easy to get swept up in that world, as she was realizing with all the books she'd gotten into. The more dark things she read, the more she wanted to read, to try it all out. But when she'd talked to Draco about what his father had planned for him, watched him have that nightmare at her house, it made her take a step back and look at herself as well. How could she tell him not to get involved with it if she was studying the dark arts as well? After they'd gotten back to school from her house, she'd gone to the library that day and sorted through her books, which Madame Pince had so graciously left undisturbed on her table. Pansy took the darker ones back to their shelves and some of the more questionable dueling volumes were put back as well. If she was going to try and get Draco out of it, she couldn't be in it herself. Not even a tiny bit. She could tell he was a little offended by her asking about it and she looked at him carefully as he picked up his spoon for his cereal. "Sorry. I never meant that, I just wondered was all. Of course I don't want you going in blind, even if I would rather you not go at all. I guess you might as well know what to expect if you still can't find a way out of it." As hopeless as it might seem, Pansy still had to make herself hope there was a way out, a way around it. As crazy as it was, she needed to believe that there was some way that Draco wouldn't have to be put in that world.

[Draco Malfoy]

Draco sighed as she apologized to him, he knew why she'd asked and he understood her concern but he didn't want to deal with it, not about this. As he chewed his first bite of cereal he looked over at her, she wasn't eating. "Pans, I'm not trying to dig myself deeper into this I just need you to trust me on this. Okay?" He reached for the fruit and served her up some grapes and strawberries. Reaching next to the cornflakes he took some toast for both of them. He had been staying up at night reading the books he'd taken and knew that by the week's end he would be sending them back along with the list that Bellatrix had written him, asking Mr. Parkinson for more of them. He was going to have to be careful about hiding all of this from Pansy, he knew she would be distraught and furious if she knew. He looked down at his food again and took another mouthful. He could feel her worry about him and didn't know what to do to diffuse it. Swallowing his mouthful he wiped the milk off his lips and asked her, "How is your studying going? Got anything good from the books you borrowed from your library?" He wondered if she was still studying in the darker books he had caught her with. He knew that soon he would probably end up checking out some of the same books, despite what he had said to her. It almost felt like they were going in reverse, it was odd and incredibly unsettling.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Though her brain was telling her otherwise, she nodded. "I trust you." Even as she said it, she wasn't sure how much she believed it. She wanted to, but still she suspected something more. Her worries were only confirmed as he changed the subject to talk about her instead, his usual go-to subject change if there was something he didn't want to say. She was still glaring at her plate where he'd put food, not really in a mood to be taken care of, not even by Draco. Her stress level over the past few days had been worse than usual. She thought too much about the past weekend and how easy things had been between them when they were away from school. And it alarmed her how easily things went back to the way they were before once they'd gotten back. They kept their distance. There was no hand holding or hugging or lighthearted chats in each other's rooms. Granted, they didn't go in each other's rooms. Draco didn't venture into the girls dormitories, and Pansy didn't go into his if she could help it. Astoria was usually there, watching him read or something, probably begging for attention in her stupid little voice. She'd wandered back to the dorm late late at night on more than one occasion already, lying down with quite the dramatic sigh as she stared in the direction Pansy's bed. Pansy knew Astoria knew she was awake. The blonde knew Pansy was staring her down from her dark bed, and she intended to let Pansy see just how satisfied and happy she was with her life as it was, to rub it in Pansy's face that she was getting Draco's affections at school. And though Pansy did all she could to avoid speaking to the girl or even being in the same room as her, it always happened that she'd pass by while Pansy was enjoying some quiet in the common room, giving her a quite smug look as she disappeared up to the boys dormitories.

But it wasn't just the relationships between she and Draco and he and Astoria that she thought about so much. That letter from his father, his nightmare, his expectations to become a Death Eater just like Lucius. Pansy's own studies started to worry her, and she found herself rejecting the darker magic, putting those books back and not searching out any more. She didn't give up her goal of being an excellent duelist. Far from it. If anything, she wanted to be better even more now. She wanted to be sure that she could defend herself in any situation that may arise, especially with what was happening with Draco and the Death Eaters. She wondered if he'd had any nightmares since they got back to school. She wondered if he'd suffered through them alone, no one to comfort him when he woke up shaking. Maybe Astoria had been there. As much as Pansy felt sick to her stomach with the thought, she almost hoped Astoria had been there for him. As long as it was someone. But she knew she hadn't been. Every morning, Pansy woke up to see the blonde in her own bed. As disheveled as she might be and as late as she might have stumbled in, she was always there in her own bed. Draco apparently didn't let her spend the entire night with him, and that was a small joy that Pansy clung to.

Finally reining in her wandering thoughts, she looked at Draco again. Pansy was still ignoring her food. She didn't want to be fed, didn't want him to help her when she felt that it ought to be her helping him instead. "Studying's alright." Her eyes went back to her plate and she reluctantly picked up a strawberry, though she'd fully planned on ignoring what he'd given her. It really did look too good to just leave sitting there uneaten. "I put a lot of the books back, ones I wasn't using anymore. I suppose Madame Pince will be happy about that. Maybe she'll stop nagging me about having 'half the library' sitting open on my table."

[Draco Malfoy]

Draco could tell that she wasn’t happy with the situation they were in now but he couldn’t do anything about it. Despite what she thought and despite what he wanted most of the time, he couldn’t change anything. The worst part of it was that they had lost the comfort he’d felt that weekend when he’d had the nightmares and just needed to be with someone. His relationship with Astoria had progressed to the point where she spent most evenings in his dorm, watching him work and providing useless chatter and then there was the time they spent together in a different way. He knew that it was wrong for him to be using her like this, for sex and distraction, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed someone who he could talk to and seek comfort from but the only person for that was Pansy and while they were at Hogwarts that wasn’t an option. No matter how he reasoned it out their real relationship could not happily exist at Hogwarts, he didn’t want the stress there to destroy it. At the same time it being pushed to the side wasn’t helping them either, they were constantly bashing heads and getting into little spats over things that wouldn’t normally phase them at all. With a sigh Draco pushed the cereal around in his bowl. Putting his spoon down he pushed the bowl away and grabbed a piece of bread.

No matter how good he was at using Astoria and other people as a distraction he couldn’t always keep it up. Every night he made Astoria leave his dorm before he would go to sleep, he cast his usual silencing charms on his curtains and he would sleep. During his sleep the nightmares would always come, no matter what he did there was nothing to change that he would always dream of the darker times to come. Voldemort was now almost a constant fixture in his dreams and his father was there, as always. With his cane ready, Lucius was always there drawing punishment from Draco for small misdeeds that had occurred over the course of his day. Things that Lucius could never know about and things that honestly were not of any real importance. Draco, more often than not, woke up shaking and terrified, getting out of bed and roaming the common room in the wee hours of the morning to make sure he was at Hogwarts, safe and sound, away from his father. As the days passed after the dream at the Parkinson’s Draco was getting less and less sleep. As the days went by he was also getting testier and testier, snapping at the younger students even more than usual.

He had hoped that a conversation with Bellatrix might solve some of these problems, making him more comfortable with what was going to happen, but he knew that was no longer even a remote possibility. What she had said about the weaknesses and tests and risking everything had shaken him, without a doubt. What would happen if someone realized his relationship with Pansy now? If someone found out about their weekend. He hoped that Mr Parkinson valued Pansy enough not to tell the Dark Lord, he was almost certain that was the case but after all of his dealings with his own father he knew that there were always two sides to everyone.

Turning he looked back at Pansy next to him, the piece of bread forgotten in his hand. He knew that tonight the nightmares would be worse than usual, there was no question about it, but at the same time he couldn’t ask her to stay with him. Not here specifically nor not here at Hogwarts in general. He hoped she would understand and be able to read the look in his eyes, that he needed her and that he couldn’t make it much longer. That he was reaching the end of his rope and soon he would snap. Looking at her he wanted to tell her that he needed a night with her, just lying up in the astronomy tower together or even in the lounge in the common room. Somewhere where they could be alone together and pretend they were at home, that it was summer and they had no one to impress, no need to pretend. Reaching out with the hand not holding the bread he gently touched her elbow, “Pansy?”

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy had still been staring at the strawberry she was eating in small bites, waiting for Draco to have something to say about her being in the library like he usually did. But when she was only answered with silence, she turned to look at him just as his hand made contact with her elbow. She saw the worry in his eyes, the need for what he would not, could not ask for. Couldn't ask for it for the worry that someone would hear, that him asking her to sleep in his bed with him would be misinterpreted by curious ears. He couldn't for the worry that by asking he would be admitting out loud that he couldn't do it alone, for the worry that it would mean weakness. Of course it meant those things, but no one ever wanted to say something to pin those characteristics on themselves. Pansy knew how he felt. They were both fiercely independent people who never wanted to admit they couldn't handle something on their own, and despite all that they tried, they always found that they needed each other, even if they just sat there in silence together. It was often enough just to listen to each others steady breathing, a reminder that they were both still alive, that they could deal with whatever was going on as long as they had each other to turn to.

Unfortunately it was becoming harder and harder to turn to each other. They both still wanted to, somewhere deep down, but appearances and the way the interactions among their group of friends were changing put stress on everything. They couldn't just be together for hours and talk about nothing. They couldn't just sit on each others beds and laugh until their eyes were so heavy they could hardly keep them open any longer. Astoria had arrived on the scene, helping to destroy what Pansy and Draco used to have. Though she'd never been told so, Pansy could only assume Astoria considered herself Draco's girlfriend. She figured they must be dating, despite all that had happened at her house the past weekend. Clearly Draco didn't mind fooling around when he knew Astoria wouldn't find out. But at Hogwarts, that sort of contact was off limits. Pansy wondered if it was only because of Astoria. Something told her there was more to it than that. There was some additional reasoning as to why he would never hold her hand at school, never laugh with her and hug her and kiss her when she was disappointed or if he just felt like it. She couldn't figure it out, what made their school environment so different from being at home, but she didn't like it.

She and Draco couldn't be themselves at school. But what if they were only themselves at school? What if who they'd become at her house was only the effect of childhood memories flooding them, affecting them in some strange reminiscing sort of way, bringing back the actions from their childhood that wouldn't have existed in the normal world. What if how they were at Hogwarts was the 'real' them? What if they'd changed so much that they could hardly hold a conversation without fighting? They were drifting apart, and the rest of their friends were drifting apart as well. Pansy couldn't remember the last time she'd hung out with Dee or Scorp or Blaise. It had been far too long for comfort. Even from the beginning of the year until now it was different. They used to all eat breakfast together, laughing and joking together, having fun. Now it was rare if you were in there at the same time as your friends. It had to be planned out to eat together, and even still it was often a quiet meal. Tension was high, at least as far as Pansy could tell. Then again, she only ate in the great hall if Draco invited her to come with him. She never went alone.

Regardless of all her wonderings, the contradictions and panics in her mind, she knew that look, and she knew what he needed. It was as she'd feared. He'd spent too many nights alone and terrified with no one to turn to. Well, that was untrue. His hand on her elbow told her he still would turn to her. He'd spent too many nights alone and terrified unable to turn to the one person he'd always gotten to make him feel better, and it crushed Pansy's heart that she hadn't taken up the initiative to check on him. She'd considered it one night. Astoria came in looking grumpy, her arms crossed tightly and she'd rolled over and gone to sleep without giving Pansy that 'you-know-where-I-just-was' sort of look. Pansy had considered sneaking out and going to check on him, to see that he was okay. But she knew he didn't want to be babied, to be checked on, at least not when anyone would see. And with Theo and Blaise in his dorm, she could never be sure when the others were asleep and she could get in unnoticed. But tonight she'd figure out a way to slip in without being seen. She answered him with a small nod, barely whispering to him. "I'll come." Draco needed her, and like a hopeless addict she could never tell him no. No matter how much he might hurt her, no matter how this relationship stressed her out and ripped bit by bit at her heart, she'd always come back to him. She couldn't escape even if she wanted to. Pansy knew that when Draco needed her, she would always be there, no matter what happened.


Also I would like to point out that was 952 words in 37 minutes. Just saying.
*dominated your 753 in 9 hours*

[Draco Malfoy]

Draco nodded and felt his heart lift slightly. He couldn’t ever convey his appreciation for Pansy, she was always there when he needed her, no matter what. Draco was going to have to get rid of Astoria that night but he knew it wouldn’t be a problem, she hadn’t been too happy with him as of late after all. He had been missing his friends, he and Blaise didn’t see much of each other, Scorp had moved and was still not speaking to him, he had never been that close to Theo and Pansy was being pushed away for various reasons. It wasn’t something that Draco dealt well with, loneliness that is. He was raised in a household where no matter how much his parents ignored him or beat him there was always someone to see, to talk to, even if it was just inane pureblood chatter. As a child Draco had spent most of his time talking to adults and even when he couldn’t understand what they were talking about he still tried and usually succeeded in conversation. Though now he had Astoria to keep him company Draco was missing keeping court amongst his year mates, he was missing having people to talk down to and to simply spend time with. Now he spent his days alone or shadowed by Astoria, Dee avoiding him because of her sister, Blaise avoiding him for unknown reasons and he hadn’t even seen Scorpius for almost a week now.

Now that he knew he wouldn’t be alone for the night his appetite returned slightly and he picked up the toast again, putting some butter and jam on it then taking a bite. He chewed on the bite of toast thoughtfully, glancing around the room. It was an odd night, very few people were around for dinner. It was also a special night foodwise because it was WAFFLE WEDNESDAY so they could have breakfast food for dinner. Because Tam is a fail and mixes up what normal foods are supposed to be for breakfast and dinner. Reaching across the table Draco put aside his now very soggy cereal and grabbed a waffle. He put it on his plate the proceeded to fill each little hole with syrup to make it all gooey and sweet. Just how a waffle should be. As he cut into it and watched the syrup flow he got thinking about Christmas again. It was all that ever seemed to be in his thoughts. He wanted more information than he’d gotten out of Bellatrix this afternoon but knew that she was not the best person to get it from, she was completely deranged and not to be trusted. Even when it came to the dark arts he had to remember to take everything she told him with a grain of salt. He would have to go talk to some of the other death eaters but he knew that Pansy would disapprove of it. Not that it really mattered whether she approved but he didn’t want to fight with her, not anymore. The last time they had fought was so awful for both of them and Scorpius that he never wanted to relive it or anything even similar. Yet he knew that with his temper it was almost inevitable. Damn his father for making him suppress himself, managing to turn him into the person he didn’t want to be no matter how hard he fought it. No matter how many times Draco had told himself he would never hit a woman and yet here he was, sitting with Pansy who he hadn’t just hurt once but twice now and despite what he wanted he knew he would mostly likely hurt her again. It was a cycle that he had spent his whole childhood watching, one that he knew was almost unbreakable. Without looking at her Draco shifted away slightly and lifted a small piece of waffle to his mouth.

Evan Rosier was probably his best bet to get more information because Draco already knew him slightly from old family events. His younger sister was one of the many girls that Draco always ended up getting introduced to and forced to dance with at the awful events. He hoped that his future wasn’t there, wasn’t with someone like that. Penny was going to grow up to be someone like Muffy, shallow and an eternal annoyance to her husband. Draco planned, well hoped, to be like his father and able to work from home instead of commuting to some office everyday. His mother was an ideal pureblood wife, subservient and beautiful, someone who would always be presentable at ministry events and would add to a reputation rather than detract from it. He knew that his parents had far from an ideal relationship, more like a successful business deal, yet at the same time it was almost all he could hope for. He knew that the odds of him getting to spend his life with someone whose company he enjoyed was slim to none, and that he would have very little choice in the matter when it came down to it. Trying to push the thoughts aside he returned his focus to eating his waffle, staring once again at the flowing syrup. As he was raising his fork to his mouth he noticed that Pansy was still eating the same strawberry. “Are you okay Pans? Is there something else wrong?” He reached across the table and transferred a small waffle to her plate, putting on a little bit of butter and syrup just how she liked it.


The original post:

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^ in Panco code

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy blinked at him and offered him half a smile before she looked back at her plate, taking another small bite of her strawberry and chewing slowly, losing herself in thought again. She'd have to make sure that no one saw her going in there. Hopefully Draco would get rid of Astoria rather early tonight so that she wouldn't be an added complication for sneaking in. If she was out of the picture, she only had to worry about Theo and Blaise. And once she could get past the two of them without waking them, she need only pull his bed curtains aside and sneak into his covers, hidden behind the thick veils where they could hide from the world if only to get some sleep, if only for her to lie awake longer than most nights just staring worriedly at his face, watching as he went through his nightmares she wasn't allowed to stop and comforting him once he finally woke himself up. Always the same, always just as heartbreaking if not more heartbreaking than the time before. She wondered if the other two went to bed early. She couldn't remember their sleeping patterns from when she used to hang out with Draco during late nights last year and the years before, but she hoped they were heavy sleepers and that they liked to keep their own bed curtains closed when they were asleep. She stopped worrying about it for now, sure that she would be able to figure something out later tonight when it was time, even if she just winged the entire plan. Nothing would stop her from getting to his bed, not when he needed her like this.

She watched amusedly as he drowned every little cavity of his waffle with syrup like he'd always done. Though she tried not to think about it, her mind wandered back to Astoria's particular relationship with Draco. She longed to ask him about it, to know what exactly was going on with them. She couldn't ask Astoria. It didn't matter what the truth was, the blonde would most certainly just tell her the answer she didn't want to hear, that they were dating and that he loved her, something like that. The only way to get the real story would be to ask Draco about it, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was afraid of the answer, afraid of what he might tell her. She didn't want to be replaced like that, though she knew it wasn't truly being replaced. She would have had to be his girlfriend before in order to be replaced by a new one, and she had not ever been that. Not really. His closest female friend, the girl he had held hands with on multiple occasions and hugged when he was down, but never his girlfriend. Never more than just his friend Pansy and she'd always just been okay with that, biding her time, scaring away potential interests and waiting for the perfect moment to tell him how she'd felt. Of course, Astoria had shown up on the scene just in time to ruin all that, to destroy her carefully laid plan and make pointless all that she'd done to get so close to Draco over the years. In the course of a few days, the little sixth year and stolen what had nearly been her own, just as easy as anything. It was unfair and Pansy hated her for it. Hated her more than anything in the world, except maybe what Draco's father was forcing him into. She still hated that more. She would always hate that more. If Draco could get out of it, but had to stay with Astoria forever, she truly believed she would be okay with that, as crazy and irrational as it felt. As much as she loved him, if he could escape that world, even if it mean she could never have him for her own, she would be pacified. Maybe not happy, but content enough.

Pansy watched his face, his light eyelashes flickering up and down from his plate to his fork and around the room, a bit of his hair straying from the rest of it down by his eye. She wanted to reach over and fix it, to brush it back where it belonged with the rest, but she wasn't sure what was allowed these days, what kind of contact he would tolerate from her. She kept her hand to herself. She was glad she did, because not even a moment later she noticed him sift away from her a little, moving his body a few inches further down the bench and pretending as if he hadn't moved. She looked back at her strawberry still pinched between her fingers, contemplating it without eating it. She didn't think about the future much, but since the beginning of this school year her ideas had changed. She still planned to run off after graduation, have her exploring time and life in random places and little hole in the wall apartments. Before, she'd always pictured Draco in her future, but now she wasn't so sure. She figured Draco would be drifting away from her now. Figured his parents would be setting him up with a good pureblood girl, one his father probably actually liked. She knew Lucius didn't like her, believing she was a bad influence on his beloved son. She didn't know who she would end up with, not that she really cared if it wouldn't be Draco. She just hoped he would be kind, would let her do as she pleased and that they could get along well enough to at least be happy for their lives together. Though she questioned her mother's choices, she trusted her father's judgement and knew that he would ensure whoever was chosen for Pansy's husband would be good to his little girl. She was shaken out of her thoughts by Draco's voice, and she blinked away from her strawberry, looking back at him. "Oh. I'm alright." She watched as he put a waffle on her plate, sighing in mild frustration. She really didn't like being fed like this. Not fed, exactly, but given food that he expected her to eat, that he would lecture her about in his own little way until she did eat it. Sometimes she enjoyed being fussed over, taken care of by him, but not today. Today it was Draco who probably needed the attention, and yet here he was asking about her. Her heart was melting and despite her annoyance, she smiled at him a little. "Just thinking too much for my own good. Wondering what's happening to us, like I usually am." She shook her head, wishing she could work out what their situation was, knowing that figuring that out felt nearly as impossible as anything in this world right now.


1150 words, 24 minutes. I dominate this, hells yes.

[Sirius Black]

Get off of AWF, and cowrite a fucking book. At least you'd get a paycheck.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Get off of AWF, and cowrite a fucking book. At least you'd get a paycheck.

Actually that would be awesome.

[Sirius Black]

I would buy it. I am serious.

[Romilda Vane]

I'd buy it too.
No joke.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

I never realize how many people actually bother to read Panco. Sometimes I feel like it's just Tam and me XD
But that would be really cool. If I ever find myself with spare time (HA!) I want to take all we've written and adapt it together so it flows more like a novel instead of post, reply, reply, and put it into a book.

[Sirius Black]

Unfortunately you could never publish said book because of copyright, though. But really, quit wasting your time on JK Rowling's characters and make your own; you guys could go places. Same with you and Dom..

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Yeah, that's the sucky part.
I wish I had time to do that, I really do. It would be incredibly fun. And pretty damn awesome to say I've written a book that people are buying.

[Sirius Black]

Isn't that the point though...? You DO have time, because you've ALREADY written a book. NOW QUIT ROLE PLAY OR SOMETHING, OR I'LL HAVE YOU FLAYED! I WANT A BOOK BY ASHLEY!

[Scorpius Malfoy]

...
You just threatened to flay Ashley.
*dead*
And if Ashley put every post of hers alone together...she'd have an entire series written.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

LOLOLOL WANNA MEET MY LETTER OPENER?
But I totally can't quit RP. Too many fantastic things planned that I won't let go of.

[Sirius Black]

CORRECTION. I THREATENED TO HAVE HER FLAYED BY SOMEONE ELSE.
Even I know I can't flay her myself. I'd have to get, like, Tom Felton to do it, because he's the only one who'd get close enough to her to do it.

[Draco Malfoy]

IF ASH QUIT RP MY LIFE WOULD END
END

but I really want to combine all this/ as a free time project re-write most of this in a non hp world as a book. OR just write a epic fanfic. That too.

Oriya

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

I'd have to get, like, Tom Felton to do it, because he's the only one who'd get close enough to her to do it.

Truth.

but I really want to combine all this/ as a free time project re-write most of this in a non hp world as a book. OR just write a epic fanfic. That too.

It would be a very epic fanfic. Either that or the general plot thoughts and whatnot could be warped and adapted to a non-hp world. Either still some kind of magical world or it could totally be adapted for a normal world, just with something else terrible other than dark arts to get into. Some other kind of prejudiced egotistical anarchists. God knows we've got enough of them in this world, just take your pick.

[Draco Malfoy]

I am now thinking this all through in my head...

When I never get work done again I will blame all of you.

Then I'll dedicate my book to you.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

I've been wanting/poorly attempting a book since 10th grade.
I restarted it at least twelve times and never got further than like 10k words just because I ended up not liking the plot or not feeling right about the characters or something. I DUNNO. My characters were so bland. They had no depth, no motivation, and now that Pansy and Draco's got all this shit going on, I feel like I'll be able to copy that sort of depth for my own. IF ONLY I HAD THE TIME.

[Draco Malfoy]

Pansy blinked at him and offered him half a smile before she looked back at her plate, taking another small bite of her strawberry and chewing slowly, losing herself in thought again. She'd have to make sure that no one saw her going in there. Hopefully Draco would get rid of Astoria rather early tonight so that she wouldn't be an added complication for sneaking in. If she was out of the picture, she only had to worry about Theo and Blaise. And once she could get past the two of them without waking them, she need only pull his bed curtains aside and sneak into his covers, hidden behind the thick veils where they could hide from the world if only to get some sleep, if only for her to lie awake longer than most nights just staring worriedly at his face, watching as he went through his nightmares she wasn't allowed to stop and comforting him once he finally woke himself up. Always the same, always just as heartbreaking if not more heartbreaking than the time before. She wondered if the other two went to bed early. She couldn't remember their sleeping patterns from when she used to hang out with Draco during late nights last year and the years before, but she hoped they were heavy sleepers and that they liked to keep their own bed curtains closed when they were asleep. She stopped worrying about it for now, sure that she would be able to figure something out later tonight when it was time, even if she just winged the entire plan. Nothing would stop her from getting to his bed, not when he needed her like this.

She watched amusedly as he drowned every little cavity of his waffle with syrup like he'd always done. Though she tried not to think about it, her mind wandered back to Astoria's particular relationship with Draco. She longed to ask him about it, to know what exactly was going on with them. She couldn't ask Astoria. It didn't matter what the truth was, the blonde would most certainly just tell her the answer she didn't want to hear, that they were dating and that he loved her, something like that. The only way to get the real story would be to ask Draco about it, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was afraid of the answer, afraid of what he might tell her. She didn't want to be replaced like that, though she knew it wasn't truly being replaced. She would have had to be his girlfriend before in order to be replaced by a new one, and she had not ever been that. Not really. His closest female friend, the girl he had held hands with on multiple occasions and hugged when he was down, but never his girlfriend. Never more than just his friend Pansy and she'd always just been okay with that, biding her time, scaring away potential interests and waiting for the perfect moment to tell him how she'd felt. Of course, Astoria had shown up on the scene just in time to ruin all that, to destroy her carefully laid plan and make pointless all that she'd done to get so close to Draco over the years. In the course of a few days, the little sixth year and stolen what had nearly been her own, just as easy as anything. It was unfair and Pansy hated her for it. Hated her more than anything in the world, except maybe what Draco's father was forcing him into. She still hated that more. She would always hate that more. If Draco could get out of it, but had to stay with Astoria forever, she truly believed she would be okay with that, as crazy and irrational as it felt. As much as she loved him, if he could escape that world, even if it mean she could never have him for her own, she would be pacified. Maybe not happy, but content enough.

Pansy watched his face, his light eyelashes flickering up and down from his plate to his fork and around the room, a bit of his hair straying from the rest of it down by his eye. She wanted to reach over and fix it, to brush it back where it belonged with the rest, but she wasn't sure what was allowed these days, what kind of contact he would tolerate from her. She kept her hand to herself. She was glad she did, because not even a moment later she noticed him sift away from her a little, moving his body a few inches further down the bench and pretending as if he hadn't moved. She looked back at her strawberry still pinched between her fingers, contemplating it without eating it. She didn't think about the future much, but since the beginning of this school year her ideas had changed. She still planned to run off after graduation, have her exploring time and life in random places and little hole in the wall apartments. Before, she'd always pictured Draco in her future, but now she wasn't so sure. She figured Draco would be drifting away from her now. Figured his parents would be setting him up with a good pureblood girl, one his father probably actually liked. She knew Lucius didn't like her, believing she was a bad influence on his beloved son. She didn't know who she would end up with, not that she really cared if it wouldn't be Draco. She just hoped he would be kind, would let her do as she pleased and that they could get along well enough to at least be happy for their lives together. Though she questioned her mother's choices, she trusted her father's judgement and knew that he would ensure whoever was chosen for Pansy's husband would be good to his little girl. She was shaken out of her thoughts by Draco's voice, and she blinked away from her strawberry, looking back at him. "Oh. I'm alright." She watched as he put a waffle on her plate, sighing in mild frustration. She really didn't like being fed like this. Not fed, exactly, but given food that he expected her to eat, that he would lecture her about in his own little way until she did eat it. Sometimes she enjoyed being fussed over, taken care of by him, but not today. Today it was Draco who probably needed the attention, and yet here he was asking about her. Her heart was melting and despite her annoyance, she smiled at him a little. "Just thinking too much for my own good. Wondering what's happening to us, like I usually am." She shook her head, wishing she could work out what their situation was, knowing that figuring that out felt nearly as impossible as anything in this world right now.

Draco wondered what she was thinking about them. Was it the same things that he thought about, different? He knew there had to be a certain amount of overlap, thoughts abut the Death Eaters, and probably their parents, but in all other matters he was at a loss as to what she would be considering. The strain on their relationship? Could she reason it away like he did? If he had to guess he would say her thoughts were also on their pending graduation into the real world. The shifts both socially and academically would soon be up to them and yet again they would have to change from what they wanted to be. He knew they would never be able to relax in public the way they did at the Parkinson’s. It was not, after all, socially acceptable for a seventeen year old pureblood heir to be looking up the skirt of a pureblood girl who he wasn’t even dating let alone engaged to. Their friendship was incredibly different from anything he had witness growing up and he knew that although they could mess around like that at Pansy’s it was not acceptable at his house. There they could still walk around together and hug and relax in the library but dinners were different, more formal and with almost no conversation. As children they had quickly learnt that if they wanted to have fun it was best to go Pansy’s house and escape into the gardens. The time they had spent in the gardens the past Sunday had been incredible, they had relaxed and enjoyed each other for the first time in what felt like years. He and Pansy had always had a close relationship but it would be almost impossible for him to define. It was something that he could never imagine sharing with anyone else, something that could never be forged with someone like Astoria.

The thing with Astoria was that she and Pansy were opposites. Pansy was, mostly, an ideal pureblood daughter: clever, powerful, beautiful and virginal. The only quality Pansy lacked was submission, but that Astoria had in spades. Astoria was not someone Lucius and Narcissa would ever seriously consider for him. She was not only vapid but also she had earned a reputation at Hogwarts and, even though he knew she hadn’t slept with half the guys rumor said she had, that was not a blemish his parents would be able to overlook, no matter what her bloodline was. Draco knew that Pansy’s parents would be compiling a list of potential husbands for her now too and he was certain that most of his year was on the table along with some of the year above. All the most powerful families had children within years of each other in order to maximize the marriage pool for their offspring. His parents were also considering some French and even some Russian purebloods with royal lineage along with the usual crop. Lucius wanted to expand their family power across continents, he was by far the most ambitious Malfoy to head the family in a long time and he had much higher expectations for his only son. For years his parents had paraded girls past him, watching carefully for any reaction from both the girls and Draco. He knew that in the end he would probably be offered two or three girls to select from, or, if his parents had one very important connection they needed to make, he would be told who he was to marry and his options would be to accept it or to find a better match and manage to convince his father of it, which he knew was no real option at all.

He watched as Pansy started to cut up her waffle, slowly dividing it into smaller and smaller pieces. Draco had in fact heard her sigh but was not going to bring it up. Pansy had never liked him feeding her and making her look after herself but that wasn’t going to change anything. She was always there for him and he would like it to be vice versa. With a few more bites Draco had finished his waffle and pushed his plate away. “Pans, I need to get some work done so I’m going to head back to the dorms now.” He stood up and put a hand on her shoulder, he didn’t want to mention it again but he hoped she knew that he would be waiting in his dorm for whenever she came. He wasn’t planning on letting Astoria up there at all tonight, neither of them needed that drama. Walking out of the hall he headed to his dorm room to start on some of his work, hoping to keep himself up so he’d be exhausted enough to properly sleep.

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