Children's Book Review Mya Had To Write For Work And Was Kinda A Smart-Ass About

[Molly Prewett]

So as many of you know, I work in a library. I recently got asked to write a review of a children's book for a national children's literacy event, and I wasn't really inspired.... so I sort of took it my own direction. I can't wait to see if it actually gets published, because I don't know if they'll appreciate my take on things, but here it is:

The Value of Perspective: A Review of Little White Dogs Can’t Jump by Mya Lupin

At the age of twenty-six, it seems I can still learn something from a children’s storybook. I learned that perspective is a powerful thing that can change the intended message of a story. Or maybe I learned that I take these things too seriously. To some, Little White Dogs Can’t Jump by Bruce Whatley and Rosie Smith may seem innocent enough – a light-hearted tale of persistence wherein one little girl invents the most painfully creative of ways to attempt to get Smudge the dog into the car. For me, it was the worst case of animal cruelty I’ve witnessed since Dumbo. (Because separating an infant elephant from his mother and shoving him off a ridiculously high platform is pretty cruel in my book.)

The story is a series of what I suppose is intended to be fun adventures chronicling one little girl’s journey to solve the age old problem of how to get the dog in the car. You see, the poor little dog Smudge is not very agile, and cannot jump into the car for himself. So it is left to the little girl’s enquiring mind to devise a solution to the problem. It’s an excellent concept in theory, yes, but in practice? Hardly.

This unsuspecting reader’s alarm was raised from the outset with a lovely, well-drawn illustration of Smudge face-planting into the rear bumper of the family car, and the carnage only spirals from there. A springboard, a skateboard up a ramp, a dog-launching canon that Wile E. Coyote would be proud of – my horror grew with each attempt to get poor Smudge in the car. Not to mention the poor dog’s ever-expanding list of phobias. (Why yes, I imagine I would develop a fear of loud noises if someone attempted to shoot me out of a canon, too!)

Just when I despaired of Smudge ever making it into the family car alive, the little girl finally decides to be inclusive, and enlists the help of her family in solving the puzzle at hand. ‘Finally,’ I thought, ‘a little parental supervision – a chance for the moral of the story to scream for common sense and an adult to pick the dog up like anybody with enough muscles and half a brain would do.’ I was wrong. Mum had a solution, naturally, but I would call it neither common sense, nor ethical. (Clever, though, as anyone’s ability to use a dog as a bargaining chip to score a convertible must be called!)

Reviewer’s recommendation: read this book if you are a small child and would like to develop a creative set of problem-solving skills, or if you simply want to see what happens when one tries to shoot a dog shot out of a canon.

[James Potter - Inactive]

Mya... It's 2:22 AM and I don't think I've told you I love you yet today. Nevertheless, let it be known that...


I LOVE YOU

[Molly Prewett]

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MONKEYS LOVE BANANAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gideon Prewett]

This is amazing. You are amazing. That's about all I have to say.

[Molly Prewett]

I actually half expect them not to print it.

But hey, they wanted something written and I wrote it! *innocent smile*

[Nikki Orwell]

Mya, I am thinking about starting a religion. Would you prefer Myaism, Lenorites, or OMRYOUARESOFUCKINGAWESOMEMYA-ists?
That is to say, I LOVE YOU!

[Molly Prewett]

*loves the sound of Myaism*

lol

I LOVE YOU TOO NIKKI! *flails*

[Nikki Orwell]

Myaism does sound good. I shall figure out the details today in class.
-hugs-

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