Short story- "Can't Have You"

[Remus Lupin]

A Remione fanfiction I'm currently working on. I'm just letting everything sort of flow out, so there's no outlining to this whatsoever. Which is currently resulting in me not liking it very much...not because it isn't outlined, I hardly ever outline anything if I can help it, but because I wanted it to be happy...it's not starting out all that happy.

I'm going to post the first chapter. It's short. hahaha...and you'll probably not get too much out of it....and it ends in a cliff hanger, so don't kill me. I'm only half way through the second chapter.

Chapter 1 - Worry.

She paced in the room she shared with Ginny at number 12 Grimmauld Place. There were no other sounds in the building, it was quiet. Mrs. Weasley was downstairs, most likely in the kitchen. She was either preparing their dinner or just sitting at the table, an unopened copy of the Daily Prophet set in front of her, like she had for the past couple of days. She would open it occasionally, glad that what she was fearing had not yet shown up in the paper.

Ginny looked up occasionally from the book she was reading and gave Hermione a sympathetic look. Hermione looked like she had not slept in days. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her hair was a curly, tangled mess. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had both tried to get her to relax while the others were out but, Hermione just couldn't relax. She could not even focus on the books that, before, had always captured her attention They could not blame her really, they were both on edge too. It had been too long, the group had been away longer than they should have. And not having heard anything from anyone did not make it any easier. After what felt like ages Hermione finally sat down on her bed and sighed. She gripped the edge of the bed, biting her lip. Ginny set her book down and went over to join her on her bed, hugging her. "They'll be back soon Hermione."

"It's been most of Christmas break!" Hermione's eyes filled with tears. Ginny pushed a bunch of Hermione's brown curls over the girl's shoulder and sighed. "I know. I miss them and I'm worried too. But look at it this way, if something bad had happened we would have heard about it by now. Kingsley has a team of trackers following the party, and they'd send word to him if something had happened." Hermione just nodded in response, fear and worry still in her eyes. Her best friends were out there right now, he was out there with them, and she could do nothing to help. She knew Ginny felt the same way, about wanting to go along and help, but neither of them had been allowed. Albus had only wanted a set amount of people to go on this mission. Hermione and Ginny had been told to stay with Molly to keep her company, and be prepared to help in case anything came up and they were needed.

Ginny stood up and took her hand. "Come on, let's see if mum made tea. It might-"
She was cut off by a loud crash from downstairs, followed by Mrs. Black's portrait shrieking obscenities and other incoherent babble. The two girls froze and stared toward the doorway. Was the building under attack? Or had the party returned? Hermione's heart skipped a beat at the thought. Of seeing her friends, of seeing him. A second later they heard a long, piercing wail. They sprinted out the door and down the stairs.

[Molly Prewett]

*flails angrily because it was so short and now I can't wait to read more*

[Remus Lupin]

*sobs because chapter 2 is rather depressing so far and this is supposed to be semi-sort of happy...it's REMIONE for goodness sake!*

[Molly Prewett]

*sobs in anticipation...* *flails*

[Remus Lupin]

Chapter 2 - Shock

There were several voices, all talking, shouting directions, at once, getting louder as they raced down the stairs. Hermione and Ginny reached the bottom only to stop abruptly in horror. Tonks ran by, her face was an ashen color, her hair light gray. Tears were streaming down her face and she barely made it to the downstairs bathroom before they heard her throwing up. Her appearance wasn't what had scared them, it was the blood. The dark blood that was covering her hands and the front of her robes. Hermione's heart felt like it had stopped.
Oh Merlin, who is it? Who's... Her thoughts are cut off by another piercing, desperate wail. It was coming from the living room. Ginny took off and flew into the room, Hermione tailing behind.
The sight that meets her when she enters the room makes her gag, her hand flying to her mouth as she presses her back against the door frame. Arthur Weasley was laid out on the couch, Molly kneeling beside him. His face was barely recognizable, coated with blood. His nose looked broken, bent oddly, and there was a deep gash starting from his eyebrow up to the top of his head. Hermione could not tell the extent of his other injuries because his clothing was soaked in his blood, but his arm was dangling at an awkward angle letting her know that it was broken. The wailing sounds were coming from Mrs. Weasley and Hermione's heart broke to hear them. He can't be...they were just going to get information, there shouldn't have been a chance for them to have been...he just CAN'T be... Her vision blurred with tears and she barely heard when a voice called her name.
"Hermione!" Arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly. "Merlin Hermione, come on, let's get you out of here." Hermione looked up into Ron's eyes and gasped as she saw the cut on his face. "Ron! What happened? What happened to your father...where's Harry? Where's..." She looked over his shoulder, desperately searching for a glimpse of...there. Oh, thank god. He's not... He was standing near the window, visibly shaking, and taking deep breaths. He looked just as pale as Tonks had, and he too had blood on his clothes. They must have both helped carry Arthur at some point. There were already bandages on his arms and one on his neck. Hermione could not tell if they were new, from whatever attack the group had just came from, or from the full moon that had occurred during their mission. She wanted to run over and pull him into her arms, comfort him, tell him everything was going to be alright, no matter how much of a lie it seemed at the moment, but she could not. He could never know how she felt. She could not bring herself to tell him. Her view of the man was cut off by another person who joined her and Ron.
"Hermione...Ron, let's get her into the kitchen. She looks like she's about to pass out." Hermione allowed herself to be led into the kitchen by Harry and Ron. They had her sit on the bench where she automatically slumped forward, her head resting on her hands that were clasped in front of her to keep them from shaking.
"Harry, Ron...what happened? Is he...will he...?"
Ron closed his eyes and turned away, tears silently drifting down his face. Harry gripped Ron's shoulder tightly for a moment in silent comfort then sat down next to her. "We were ambushed." She gasped and he pulled her to his chest, hugging her tightly. "We thought we were doing a good job at covering our tracks. Making sure no traces of our presence could be found but, apparently we weren't doing a great enough job. They started following us, we had to change course rather quickly one night and lost Kingsley's tracking group. We decided to split up, half the group following one lead and the other half- Ron, Remus, Arthur, Tonks, Moody, and myself- following the other. We lost the Death Eaters for a couple of nights before they found us again. It was a large group, 15 to our six. We couldn't hold them off for very long, and Arthur got the worst of it while trying to protect Ron." A strangled, choking sound came from Ron's direction and Hermione reached out, pulling him into her arms so all three of them were huddled together. "We couldn't apparate directly here, especially not with them tailing us so heavily. It took us a few hours, hopping from place to place, before we finally lost them and could head back here. By then..." Hermione started sobbing and Harry held her close as she held onto Ron. Another loud wail was heard from the living room, barely blocked out when the door behind them closed. Harry looked up to see who had shut it. Remus was standing in front of the closed door, his mouth set in a firm line. He looked tired, more so than normal. The fact that the full moon had occurred only days before the attack did not help either.
"Professor...you should get some rest, or at least sit down. Please..." Harry did not like seeing him like this. Remus' last transformation had been terrible. Something had been bothering him long before that night, and it seemed to have had a bad effect on his transformation from man to wolf. Harry could not guess what could have been bothering Remus, and it wasn't until half-way through their trip that he had even noticed. Which made him feel worse because he would have asked Remus about it, hoping that if he had someone to talk to then Remus would feel a bit better.
Remus stayed where he was, arms crossed tightly against his chest. He had had little time to properly heal after his transformation during their trip. It had taken a toll on him, but he could not bring himself to rest. Arthur's death was eating at him, guilt burning a hole in his chest. He could have saved Arthur, could have jumped in the way of that first spell. That was followed by another, then another. He could have pulled Ron out of harms way in the first place, preventing him from becoming a target. But he had not. At the same time, a curse was shot at Tonks and Remus had dived to shove her out of the way, getting the full blast of it himself. Not that he regretted doing it, saving her, but he just wished he could have done more.
He shook his head, glancing quickly over at Hermione with a pained expression on his face, she was still holding Ron as his body shook with sobs, then turned and quietly left the room.

END of chapter 2!!!! *runs from the attack she'll probably receive for killing off Arthur...and writing depressing stuff*

[Molly Prewett]

[ *flails* now I have to read more!]

[Remus Lupin]

[*flails* don't hurt me!!! I'm hoping that whatever way my mind goes next, that there will be some happy things...hopefully...]

[James Potter - Inactive]

-flails- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KILLED ARTHUR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER GAWD.

[Remus Lupin]

Chapter 3 -

She woke up, puffy eyed, feeling drained. Trying to sit up she feels an arm draped over her stomach. That's right. Harry, Ron, and herself had fallen asleep on a couch in one of the upstairs rooms. She remembered sitting at the kitchen table last night but after that she couldn't recall. One of them must have carried her upstairs. Hermione gently removed Ron's arm off of her and quietly got up. Ron gave a short snort and turned over in his sleep, his head slid down and rested on the arm of the couch. She turned and stared down at the two boys who had been her best friends for 6 years. They had been through a lot together, helping each other pull through when times were rough. And times were definitely rough right now. Smiling sadly to herself, she kissed both boys on the forehead then quietly slipped out of the room shutting the door behind her.

The scent of fresh made coffee drifted out of the kitchen. It was early, around 6 a.m., and Hermione wondered who else would be up at such a time. She opened the door and paused. He was there, sitting at the table, a copy of the Daily Prophet opened on the table in front of him.
"Good morning Hermione." Remus spoke without looking up from the paper.
How'd he know it was...oh, right. Duh. He's a werewolf, he can probably smell who I am. Hermione shut the door and sat down across from him at the table. She sat silently, studying him a bit as he continued to look down at the paper. Whether he was even reading it or not she had no clue. He looked exhausted, and a bit pale. He looked up, feeling her eyes on him. "Are you okay?" Hermione blushed and looked away, embarrassed to have been caught staring. She mentally smacked herself. "I'm fine. Ron and Harry are still asleep upstairs. Are...are you okay?"
Remus gave her a small smile then looked back down at the paper. "Tired. I haven't gotten a chance to properly rest since the past full moon-" Hermione interrupted him. "Then what are you doing up? You should be asleep!" He didn't look up but she could see his eyes weren't focused on the words in front of him. "Professor, you need to rest." Hermione reached out and placed her hand on his.
"Hermione, I can't." She gave him a questioning look. "Now's not a good time to talk about it." She nodded in understanding. There was a muffled noise, the sound of someone almost tripping over something, outside the door. Hermione withdrew her hand from his quickly. The door opened and Tonks came in. Her eyes were reddish and she looked like she had barely gotten any sleep either. Hermione gave her a small smile as she sat down next to Remus, joining them.
"Morning." Tonks sighed and rested her head on Remus' shoulder. He slipped his arm around her shoulder comforting her. Hermione felt a twisting in her stomach. Oh, how she longed to be Tonks right now. To have Remus' arm over her own shoulder. She knew Remus and Tonks were together but that could not stop her from dreaming right? Hermione stood up, "I think I'm going to go check on the boys. See you two later." She slipped out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm too lazy to write any more of this right now. I'll do it later. But this chapter is not complete yet.

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