Re: A Hidden Alcove

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy held the cookies in her lap for a moment as she watched his outburst a little amusedly. She pulled her hand back gently from his inspections and kept her eyes on his as she spoke up. "Rad, I'm fine, I promise. I yelled at him and he didn't like what he heard, so when I left he pushed me up against the wall. I hit him across the face and got out of there." She saw on his face how strongly he felt about this, and she got a little bit worried. She can never fully stop caring for Draco, after all. "Just... don't hurt him, okay? It was a one time thing, we were both stressed out and pissed off and things had been a little up and down for us recently anyway."

[Sirius Black]

Rad growled a little, but grudingly nodded. "This time. But if he tries anything at all ever again, you better tell me," he said, not in the least bit amused. "Now eat a cookie, and talk to me. Boy troubles are my specialty. Usually because I'm the one making them, but it's totally not my fault I'm irresistable, it's not like I ASK guys to fight over me," he said with a wink, trying for a bit of humor and totally failing, unfortunately. -pats Rad- "Really though, what's been going on, besides that Pamela Anderson wannabe, hm? He acting jealous or something?"

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy grabbed one of the cookies and nibbled off an edge of it. "Oh. You're right. Molly is quite a good baker. My compliments." She took another small bite. "It's quite a long story, but I'll try and shorten it. I think I'd told you how Draco and I grew up together and for the past few years I've wanted nothing but to have him for my own. And he was so close, and then at the Slytherin party he got with Astoria. But then Astoria wasn't around for a while and we made up and hung out some more. And then things got complicated. He saw me kiss Scorpius in the hallway. Scorp is my best friend, it was strictly a punishment for breaking a promise that I had to kiss him, but Draco couldn't understand that. He punched Scorp in the eye and I had to fix him up. I had full intentions on being pissed at him for a while." She sighed and took another bite. "But he apologized and I caved, and somehow last night we ended up on the floor of the seventh years lounge making out." She almost smiled as she remembered it, but shook herself and continued. "Things were going well. He'd said we should give whatever feelings we had a shot, that what had just happened wasn't nothing, but he wasn't sure what it was yet. That's as close to being asked out by him as I'll probably ever get. But at breakfast this morning, Astoria showed up and asked him if sex with her was nothing. He told her it wasn't nothing, but he wasn't sure what it was yet. Well doesn't that seem freakishly familiar. I left of course, and he followed and we fought." She shrugged, stopping there as she didn't feel the need to recap the events of the fight again.

[Sirius Black]

"Oh, the life of a player, don't I know it well? But clearly he's not good at playing the game, or he wouldn't be so entirely stupid about it all," he said, facepalming at Draco's failure at pimpin'. Rad knows he and Scorpius are way better at keeping all their playthings happy, really now, Draco ought to take lessons. Rad suppresses a chuckle at Scorp's kissing Pansy, 'cause he still totally thinks there's something goign on between them, totally not because Eowyn ships Sansy even though she hasn't actually got around to reading most of it yet. "Well, I'm not gonna lie, that was just plain idiocy on his part, saying things like that around you. So you basically think he's leading the both of you on, he just found it easier to get into that girl's pants? Well, if the girl is injecting silicone into her breasts, I'm not exactly surprised, I'm just glad you have better self respect than she does, 'cause you deserve way better than some pretty boy failure at being a pimp, who's too dense to figure out that by fucking around with some brunette Barbie doll, he's likely to lose about one of the most amazing girls I've ever met, 'cause you are! Really."

[gotta go. hearthrob walked in and i gotta go to class. same class as him. totally taking advantage.]

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

[Haha alrighty, we'll finish up later. ]

Pansy doesn't notice him laugh as she mentions kissing Scorp, but would totally emphasize that there's nothing going on between them. Though, they are the best AU couple of all time. Of all time. "Thanks, Rad." She smiled at him and ate another bite of her cookie. Damn these were good. "Hopefully he'll figure that out soon, but frankly he's running out of chances with me quicker than he realizes. I'm getting sick of it. I don't know if he's trying to lead the both of us on or what, but it's like he wants us both at the same time and that's just not going to happen." Pansy didn't bother mentioning that she would never want someone 'way better' than Draco. He was all she would ever want, no matter how bad it got.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

totally not because Eowyn ships Sansy even though she hasn't actually got around to reading most of it yet.

[This...made me smile. JS.]

[Sirius Black]

[I'm glad. TamdontkillmeIloveyou.]

"Feeling fickle, is he? Can't say I can't relate, but he knows deep down that he's gotta choose. Maybe give him time, and back off. Let the girl whore herself out, and you just be your classy, awesome self, so he'll be forced to see the differences between the two of you, and he'll be able to figure out what he wants. Honestly, there's nothing more attractive than a girl or guy who's totally happy with being themselves, single or taken, than anything else at all. If he can see you in your element, at your best, that's your best chance of showing him just what he could have," he suggested, taking the weed out and rolling a blunt, not in the mood for cookies. "Careful how many of those you consume, they're made with my weed, and I didn't give her the cheap mild stuff, though it's far from my best quality."

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

"Rad, I hope you're right. I mean, he cringes whenever she comes around, but I guess the sex is good enough she just keeps pulling him in." Pansy shrugged. "Oh well. Not like I'm going to put myself out there just for him to like me. I suppose I just have to figure out where my element is. When I'm at my best. I've never really let myself figure that out. I've always just done what everyone else expected of me." She listened to his warning about the cookies and kept that in the back of her mind. "Will do. And maybe this is for the best, this fight? I mean, I can be just me now, without trying to be the Pansy I'd always been with Draco or my mother. I can figure out what it is that I want to be." She nodded decisively, liking the upside of this better the more she thought about it.

[Draco Malfoy]

[I'm glad. TamdontkillmeIloveyou.]

[I like how you knew I would be reading this..... and I just expect you to make it up to me when we meet...]

[Scorpius Malfoy]

[I still love Eowyn a lot *skips off*]

[Sirius Black]

"That's the way to think!" he said happily and encouragingly, patting her on the shoulder. "You need to remind yourself that you aren't defined by what he wants to define you as, or what your family wants you to be. You are your own person, and I happen to like what I've seen of that person-- this intelligent, smart, self-assertive girl, that's you, or at least I think it is, and from talking to Scorpius the other day, he seems to agree. I'll take his word for it, being so close to you and all. It seems like he appreciates you a hell of a lot more than this Draco," he remarked, trying not to be offensive, but simply stating his opinion. "Not that I've met him. Just judging from what you've said."

[OF COURSE I WILL TAM DARLING I WILL SHOW YOU SOME LOVEEEE.]

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy laughed as Rad mentioned Scorpius. "Yeah, Scorp's a good guy. But don't judge Draco too harshly." Pansy should be headdesking, because that's a little hypocritical of her. "He didn't have the best childhood and it's hard for him to do the whole feelings thing because of it. His father just..." Pansy trailed off, not really wanting to talk about it as it really made her sad for him. "I think it's why we got along. Because he could escape his father and I could escape my mother and we just just be us for a little while. I guess something's just changing for us right now and we don't know what to do about it."

[Sirius Black]

"Uh, I believe they call that puberty and hormones," he laughed, shrugging. "It happens to all of us, you see. That whole sexual tension thing is a real nuisance, isn't it? But hey, you've both got choices to make. Just remember that choosing a partner isn't the only important thing in the world, you've got other dreams, you've told me yourself how you weren't ready for that yet. Have you given thought to a possible career? Because I'm assuming after you finish your travelling, you're not aiming to be a housewife. You're too good for that, even if you don't need the money from working. It's not about the money, I didn't work two jobs and deal for the cash, I get any money I need from dealing alone. The modeling and tattooing and playing with the band, that was all to make me happy. And I'm a firm believer in getting whatever you can out of life, to make you happy. Call me a hedonist, but that's what I am."

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

"Yeah, well whatever you call it, I'm sick of it." She listened as he talked about working because it made him happy, suggesting she do the same thing. "Hm. I'd never actually thought about really working. I'd never thought about things any farther than traveling, actually. Always figured I'd just get married and do whatever the hell I wanted for the rest of my life at home. I guess I wasn't raised to think about jobs. Just marriage. Marrying a good wealthy pureblood had always been my only career option." Not that she minded, if that certain pureblood was Draco, but given recent events she wasn't even sure about that anymore. "The sad thing is, I don't know what it is that makes me happy that I could work to do for fun. It never mattered before."

[Sirius Black]

"Maybe if you had something to work towards, you'd spend less time thinking about Draco, and more time working on that. You said you love the stars, why not teach Astronomy? Unless of course, you haven't the patience, completely understandable," he chortled. "But maybe if you experiment with new things, you'll find something else of interest. I hate being bored, or just sitting around, I could never do that. I like having a focus, something to work towards, setting goals for myself, to make sure that I don't waste time, and I'm always out there to make a better person of myself. To just be content with who I am was never enough. I'm not self loathing, or possessing low self esteem, I just feel like why stay the way I am, when I can do something more? It's part of why I'm so well rounded, I guess."

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

She laughed and shook her head at the Astronomy teacher suggestion. "I should never be put in charge of children." She cringed a little as the idea made her think of further down the line in her life when she would be expected to pop out a little pureblood heir. The thought horrified her and she'd certainly be putting that off for a while, if she couldn't put it off infinitely. "I guess I just always pictured myself traveling, always going somewhere else and learning about the place, spending a month or two there and then picking somewhere else. It's a bit hard to have a job with a life like that, you know? I don't think I'd be satisfied doing one thing in the same place for the rest of my life. Unless there's a sort of traveling job out there, I'm not sure working is for me. Then again, I might have to, considering the fact that traveling like that pretty much guarantees my mother would disown me and I'd be pushed to snag a rich pureblood to bring along with me and spend his daddy's money."

[Sirius Black]

"True enough! But there are plenty of jobs that involve travelling-- my future career, for example, being an Auror. The dark wizards don't all hang around one bar waiting for me to show up, see? Or maybe they do, and my job will be easier, but I somehow doubt it! There's curse breaking, or even something a lot calmer, like translating, or working for the ministry in foreign affairs. There are so many options, for that kind of thing, you just gotta keep your eyes open. Then again, finding a stud to spend daddy's money doesn't seem like a hard job for a girl like you, being spunky and gorgeous and all!"

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

"Well, we'll see just how easy or hard that is when the time comes. For now, I guess I'll keep my eyes open for any job that seems interesting enough, I'm just not sold yet. Maybe I'll calm down a bit once I get the traveling out of my system. Maybe I'll be ready to settle somewhere and get an actual job." Pansy laughed, because that sounded ridiculous. She'd probably never work a day in her life unless it became necessary, and she didn't intend for that to happen.

[Sirius Black]

[gotta go, reply tonight]

[Sirius Black]

"Well, we'll see just how easy or hard that is when the time comes. For now, I guess I'll keep my eyes open for any job that seems interesting enough, I'm just not sold yet. Maybe I'll calm down a bit once I get the traveling out of my system. Maybe I'll be ready to settle somewhere and get an actual job." Pansy laughed, because that sounded ridiculous. She'd probably never work a day in her life unless it became necessary, and she didn't intend for that to happen.

WELL YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD TEXT ME OR PM ME WHENEVER I FORGET SCENES OKAY?
'CAUSE I SWEAR I JUST FORGET THEM I HATE TAKING LIKE DAYS TO REPLY 'CAUSE I'M STUPID.

Caradoc nodded and shrugged, and realized he was still holding the blunt but had never lit it, did so with his wand and took a drag, content to sit in silence for a bit. "So why the sudden change of mind, hm? Bad day or something, or just felt like trying something new?" he finally asked, looking at her curiously as watched the smoke float away out the window.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Eh, it's no big. I'd forgotten about this scene too actually haha.

Pansy sighed and stared at the wall. "I'd say bad day, but that'd be quite the understatement." She was still in shock about what had happened, never imagining Draco could have been that rough with her. It didn't seem like him to get that aggressive with her, even if she had just yelled at him and wouldn't listen to him. He'd never been like that before. "Just the fight with Draco."

[Sirius Black]

Caradoc sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Pansy. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I've obviously never been in your situation before. All I can say is that whatever else, you should know to never respect a man who takes it upon himself to hurt you in any way, especially physically. It's as low as a man can go, it shows cowardice, and it's nothing but a display of the power he thinks he has over you. It's bad if he does it, but it's worse of you to let him do it, okay? You need to remember you're better than that, and you deserve someone who isn't such a pussy that he needs to use brute force to 'keep you in line.' I would never hit a woman, or any man I was in a relationship with. It's just wrong on every possible level."

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy shook her head, determined to stop worrying about it. "I'll figure it out. Either put him in his place myself or I'll just remove myself from the situation. It'll be fine." She brushed it off more casually than it felt, but she couldn't let herself dwell on it. He couldn't rule her life like this, it wasn't good for her to base the things she did on how someone else would view them. Draco had even more control over her than he had ever thought, but Pansy intended to reclaim that for herself finally. She broke off another piece of a cookie. "Don't you worry about me."

[Sirius Black]

"Just as long as you learn to take care of yourself. Now, I really like spending time with you, but I've said I'd help a friend out tonight, so I need to get going. But here, take some cookies with you," he said with a smile, handing her the rest of his bag, which only had a few left, but enough to get Pansy seriously stoned. "But don't eat those until you're safe in your dorm, okay? You're alright now, but they'll kick in, and you'd be a hell of a lot safer once you're there, okay? I don't want you doing anything stupid or dangerous," he said firmly, standing up to leave. "And if you don't have someone to keep an eye on you, I'd really rather you didn't eat anymore. You don't know how it's gonna affect you, yet," he said, and Eowyn facepalms because this scene has gone on for ages.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Ashley thinks it's definitely a good idea to end this, because it's been like weeks. "I'll be fine, Rad. Thanks for these, really." She stood up with the bag in her hand, waving bye and telling him she'd probably talk to him later, before she disappeared down the hallway to do heaven knows what, but it certainly wasn't just going back to her dorm since the scene after this involved her showing up in the common room coated in mud.
THE END.
FINALLY.

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