How James Potter Got the Girl

[James Potter - Inactive]

IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER BECAUSE I'M AWESOME (though it gets a little shaky at the end because I got tired)
Got the idea from Mark Antony's speech at Caesar's funeral in Julius Caesar by Shakespeare.
... It's 4 in the morning. I'm allowed to be weird.

Friends! Classmates! Those with whom I share my space!
Now you may know of someone named Lily,
A girl among you fine people of Hogwarts.
Her grace exceeds the flower for which she’s
named, and her pulchritude is greater than
any of you offensive looking people.
Just kidding. I don’t think you are that gross.
It’s just that Lily’s charm surpasses yours.
I speak now to my love alone, though you
may listen if you would so choose to now.
Yes, Lily, I love you, have always loved you.
You must know that by now. I have been telling
you this for ages now, hoping you will
believe me. And yet, you scorn my attempts
to prove my love to you. Each try to win
your love is met with ridicule and yet
still I give all I have to see you smile
at me, which rarely, if ever, happens.
Have I deserved your mockery? I wish
it were not so. For I do not wish harm
on you, though you may wish it upon me.
I bear you no ill will, yet you show me
your disdain. It is outrageous that you
should so hate me, when I have shown you nothing
but love. Instead you lavish praise on Snape.
Snape has a very massive nose. It’s huge.
But who am I to say these things? I am
merely myself, one James Potter.
You have said that I am nothing but an
arrogant toerag, and maybe that’s true.
Maybe I’m what you say I am: worthless.
But worthless people still have feelings and
I still love you Lily. Even if you
don’t love me back. I only ask that you
apologize for the pain you’ve caused me.
One who really cared for the plights of others
would repay the injuries blow for blow.
One who respected others’ misery
would make amends for what has wounded me.
For it pains me to hear the inventive
and new attacks on my good character.
Recalling them I may begin to weep.
Would a caring person cause me such grief?
I ask that you would pause for one moment
and reflect on my past actions towards you.
Always I have been faithful to my cause.
Never have I wavered in favor of
another girl for none could compare to you.
It is only you that I could ever
be truly happy with. Only you who
are perfect and beautiful and winsome.
You captivate my mind, Lily Evans,
and I cannot stop thinking constantly
of you. It pains me so to know that you
may never feel the same as I feel
and yet I will forever press onwards.
There is but one more thing I wish to ask.
Lily Evans, will you go out with me?

YOU BITCHES HAVE UNTIL FRIDAY NIGHT WHEN I GET BACK TO LAVISH PRAISE ON ME AND MY IAMBIC PENTAMETER

[Remus Lupin]

*claps then falls over from exhaustion because it's 5:18 in the morning and she's not going to get sleep at all because she has to wake up in 2 hours*

*doesn't think this post she wrote makes any sense because she can't think clearly*

I love this James :3

[James Potter - Inactive]

Thank you Remus!

OMFG YOU GUYS. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE APPRECIATING THE EPICNESS OF WHAT I HAVE DONE. IAMBIC. PENTAMETER. LOOK UPON IT AND WEEP... because I'm that much awesomer than you. Yeah.

[Guest]

JAMES POTTER, MARRY ME NOW.
MY INNER SHAKESPEARE FANGIRL JUST DIED.

That is all.

[James Potter - Inactive]

OMFG YOU GUYS. Really? Remus and Eowyn are now my only true friends in the world. I bet if Pansy weren't out doing whatever she's doing, she would appreciate it. Does no one understand the epicness of my IAMBIC PENTAMETER? FOR SHAME. Right. Back to the vacation that I don't even get back from tonight, like was told. At least appreciate my perfect grammar and spelling. I'm on a phone for pete's sake!

WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A LOSER FOR EXCITEDLY CHARTING OUT WORD EMPHASIS AND SYLLABLES EVERY CHANCE I GET WHILE I'M ON VACATION

[Guest]

JAMES POTTER.
DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?

THAT WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT.

[Logan Avery]

AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE ONE OF MY TWO TRUE FRIENDS IN THE WORLD. ONLY TWO. I CAN COUNT THEM ON MY THUMBS. THAT'S HOW FEW TRUE FRIENDS I HAVE.

[Fred Weasley - Inactive]

-bows down to James' amazing writings- All of them.

[Blaise Zabini]

I WAS AWAY!



BUT I LOVE YOU!


JUST WOW. WHERE THE FUCK IS LILY?! SHE NEEDS TO SEE THIS!


-just raped the caps lock.-

[James Potter - Inactive]

IT'S OKAY. I FEEL LIKE I'M GIVING BILLY MAYS SURPRISE BUTTSEX SOMETIMES BECAUSE I USE THIS KEY SO MUCH


AND THANK YOU!!!!

[Daphne Greengrass]

JAMEYPOO.

LOVE THIS. SO MUCH. NOW CAN I JOIN YOU AND BILLY MAYS?

[Jack Smith]

*loves James SO SO SO SO much*

That was unbelievably awesome, James my love!

[Guest]

IT'S OKAY. I FEEL LIKE I'M GIVING BILLY MAYS SURPRISE BUTTSEX SOMETIMES BECAUSE I USE THIS KEY SO MUCH


AND THANK YOU!!!!

I just read that and I haven't laughed that hard in... I don't know.

[Guest]

JAMES I LOOVE THIS

i respect how hard iambic pentameter is..

[Guest]

Ahhh that was awesome, I was nearly crying from laughter by the end of it and deeply respect your brilliance in iambic pentametre

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