Re: Pigfarts [Somewhat Alternative Universe]

[Ginny Weasley]

Hahahahaha, verrrry true. I'll steal my roommates bike and it'll be a jolly darn tootin' time navigating my way to youuuu.
AND YESSSSSS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. I'll come after I finish this drink XD
But really....I wish. I really do. That would be freaking amazing. WHY MUST YOU BE SO FAR FROM ME. WHYYYYYYY.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

WAY TOO FAR AWAY. *smushes virginia to be smaller*
You should also know that I originally had typed 'smuyshies virininia to be smallers'. Luckily, I proofread.
I don't even have an excuse for that, as I have not consumed any alcohol or substances. *blinks*

[Lucy Weasley]

As Scorpius was worriedly whispering, Pansy reached over and smacked him on the arm with the back of her hand. "Shut up." She stared hard at the bunny, watching as it blinked awake and caught sight of them standing in front of it, and it frowned. That is, if rabbits can frown. It was silent, but she could tell it was probably waiting for some explanation. She lifted her chin and spoke up. "We're transfer students looking for Rumbleroar. Could you direct us to him?" She didn't waste time with flattery or titles, as she didn't know who this bunny was and didn't really care. Though a giant hare was slightly out of the normal, okay completely out of the normal, Pansy still wasn't too worried about it as long as she had her wand. Which, she wondered, hopefully worked on Mars. It would have to wouldn't it? What if Mars did something funny to your magic? What if they used giant foam swords instead of wands here and the drumsticks she and Scorpius had were obsolete? She stopped thinking about that, as not being able to do magic was quite a terrifying thought, and she waited as the bunny stared at her boredly before answering. "Rumbleroar? Rumbleroar is not here. You must be lost." Before Pansy could protest, the rabbit held up a giant paw, irritated. "I am Humblewhore, Headmistress of Swinesnorts School of Bitchcraft and Wizardry, which you two have so willingly entered so very unannounced, uninvited, and unwanted." If bunnies snarled, Humblewhore probably would have, with her two giant carrot chomping teeth which Pansy figured probably looked more like daggers than teeth. Though, the rabbit did not snarl, and so Pansy couldn't tell for sure if the rabbit's teeth were as dangerous as she suspected. Ashley's brain is now gone, and I do not know where any of this is coming from. I toned this post down majorly from what I had written. I swear I'm not on drugs.

I'm quoting this because ohmylord I love you. Like woah.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius couldn't help but stare at the creature before him. It was odd to say the least. It's long teeth and massive form, all so odd and unsettling. When it answered Pansy's request, he couldn't help but groan. He had heard stories about those who fail trying to get to Pigfarts, and now he was one of those failures. He definitely wouldn't be telling his father about this. How humiliating. He knew they had to get out of here pronto, but wondered if they would manage to do so without Humblewhore summoning guards. Or worse, she could come and attack them herself. Scorpius gripped Pansy's arm, deciding that now was not the time to stand and think. They truly needed to get their arses out of there. "Come on," he muttered, slowly taking a step backwards and hoping Humblewhore didn't quite notice. "We need to get out of here fast." He knew that it wouldn't be long before Humblewhore noticed their subtle movements towards the door, but it was the only plan of action that he had right now. His eyes glanced at those long teeth and thought of how getting eaten by those would be one horrible experience. How did they even manage to end up here? He was such a failure. It was when they had quietly made it half way across the room that Humblewhore had reacted. After all, there was no way she was going to let them go without a fight. "Fuck," he muttered, glancing to Pansy. "Run?" he asked.

[Good thing...after I wrote this at three in the morning...I didn't send it. There were quite a few grammar/spelling issues. Oh goodness]

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy hadn't wanted to leave. She had intended on arguing the point until the rabbit gave her the information she wanted, but with Scorpius pulling on her arm, she figured he was right, they should get out while they still might be able to. She followed beside him, and they were halfway to the door when there was a squeak of cushions behind them. She figured the rabbit had stood and would be calling guards or something to stop them, but in the next second, an enormous white form was flying over their heads, and then the great white hare had landed in front of them, staring them down. It really was impressive, Pansy thought, as the rabbit towered over them the size of a liger, which is in fact the largest big cat in the entire world and can be 12 or more feet long, which is roughly the size of a minivan. So, with a minivan sized rabbit that probably had pointy dagger teeth staring you down, most people would run. Pansy didn't, either because nothing scares her or because she's incredibly stupid. Whatever the case, she glared up at the beast. "Kindly move, as I was trying to leave since I am obviously uninvited, unwanted, and undaunted by you." The rabbit wiggled its nose menacingly. Don't laugh. Anything a mini-van sized rabbit wants to do can be menacing. Suddenly, doors on either side of the room opened and students started filing in. Neville's favorite song, Pretty Boy Swag, started playing as a hoard of rather ghetto kids crimp walked up around Pansy and Scorpius. None of them had wands. Just shanks they'd made in arts & crafts class. "Yes." She nodded quickly, trying to pick out a clear path to the door, which was steadily becoming more difficult. "Run."

[Guest]

[Oh wow. Sansy. Getting so excited. So thrilling. I feel like I am reading a thriller book. Oh wow. What will happen next...]

[Romilda Vane]

[OMG same Nev.

Oh, I love you two. I don't think I could ever say that enough.]

[Scorpius Malfoy]

[Hahaha, I love you to SIL! I'm trying to work on a response...I am and I've been thinking about it for quite a bit now...but my brain isn't forming the words at the moment. SOOO...I response will be there later this afternoon when I've really woken up]

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

[YAY I'M LOVED.
Alrighty hahaha. I'll be gone from like 2-5 ish. But I'll be around on and off tonight while doing more homework. ]

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius nearly shit himself as the bunny came down at the them. He didn't, but almost. Honestly, he wasn't sure what would be scarier: facing Draco Malfoy or dealing with the massive bunny. Neither option was very appealing. He cringed when Pansy started to speak. Why wouldn't she back off? Why wouldn't she start moving? Why would she even say those things at a time like this? Seeing the bunny angry was something he really didn't want to deal with right now, but it was too late. His hand clenched onto his wand as the ghetto kids entered the room. "Fuck," he muttered. How in the world were they going to get around all these kids? Plus, he seriously was regretting the fact that he had forgotten his shank at Hogwarts. His free hand grabbed Pansy's once more and he gently pulled her towards the exit, hoping to get out of there alive. That plan was soon foiled when the ghetto kids block the exit. "New plan," he said, glancing desperately around the room for something. He spotted a small doorway off to the side and figured it was their best option. "I'll distract them," he said, releasing her hand as he held up his wand to the ghetto kids who were coming closer. "You go off through that doorway and run or hide. I'll meet you down there." His eyes moved back to the kids, throwing a stunning spell at one of them. He was pleased when he found the wand did somewhat work, though the kid wasn't stunned. Still, if he was able to continue hitting them with little things like that, it may be enough of a distraction. In between zaps to the ghetto kids, his eyes sought out the location of the bunny, her giant and menacing form moving closer to him as her ghetto kids proved to not be getting the job done.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy followed him as he dragged her away from the bunny, listening as he suggested a new plan. Immediately, she burst out into laughter. Stomach-grabbign, eye-watering, nearly-falling-over laughter. "You?" She tried to talk between laughing, but found it difficult. "You're going to -- you're planning on -- fighting them? -- You're -- going to duel -- them? -- All of them? -- You? -- And I'm just -- supposed to -- HIDE?!" She had nearly fallen on the ground laughing by now, earning a strange look or two from some of the closest students. She took a careful couple of breaths and gathered herself. "Good joke, good joke." She turned to face the exit where the students were lining up, though she was a bit hesitant to turn her back on the rabbit that was still towering in the center of the room. Pansy took a breath and wished for a bit of luck as she raised her wand, concentrating harder than usual in case magic doesn't work quite right in here for whatever extra-terrestrial reason. "Avis!" She managed to create a dozen or so crows that flew toward the door, into the group of students. "Expulso!" Each of the birds exploded, knocking over a few students that had been too close to them at the time. Pansy shoved her hands forward with her wand, shouted Deprimo, and created a sort of explosion of wind that knocked a few of the closest. Back. She was horrified to find that her magic wasn't as strong here, that the spells which would have had a large effect at home at Hogwarts, didn't do as much here. "Um. Scorp. You may have noticed... our magic is a little weak here." She spoke as if they weren't being surrounded by angry students with shanks led by a demented giant rabbit. "We can get them away a few at a time, but it's going to take a lot more spells than it would at home. You up for it or should we just... run?" She wasn't sure which was the best choice right now, but as she glanced back over her shoulder to the rest of the room, she was greeted by the sight of Humblewhore sneaking closer, her teeth, which were indeed like daggers, bared, and a few of the biggest most intimidating students were sitting on her back. One of them held a stereo, and more students were pouring into the room. Pansy took a few steps backwards from the advancing rabbit, and strangely enough the students behind her moved out of her way. A few of them even circled around to stand in front of her, and it seemed like they were lining up in some kind of very structured way. Humblewhore stopped moving, and so did all the students. Pansy raised her wand, a little nervous but ready to fight. The guy on Humblewhore's back with the stereo nodded, hit a button, and music started to play. And then all the students did this:

Humblewhore took the position of the guy dancing at the point of the triangle in the center. Yep. *nods*

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius gave her in extremely irritated look when she bursted out laughing. Did she really have such little faith in him? That thought was a bit unsettling. After all, he was supposed to be the man here. He was supposed to be the protector and he was supposed to get them out of this mess. After all, it was sort of his fault for landing them here. Though, maybe it wasn't. He had been very careful in adjusting the direction of the ship. With little time to think about it all, he decided to have a little talk with Pansy later. He watched as she attempted to get the ghetto kids to back off, but at the rate it was going it would take forever. "Yes, clearly magic isn't the same on this planet," he said, his irritation and frustration showing in the tone of his voice. He had no idea what to do. Running truly looked like their best option, for more and more kids just seemed to be arriving as time continued. He froze as everyone set up in some sort of odd formation. What the hell was going on? What was this place? All he could do was blink in confusion as they began to dance. Dancing, at a time like this? What in the world happened to the ghetto kids killing them? He wasn't going to complain though, for the dancing was a hell of a nicer sight than the kids advancing towards them. "Pans," Scorpius whispered, his eyes not leaving the dancing group. "Should we attempt to disappear now? While they're distracted?" He only hoped that they wouldn't have to join in the dancing in order to appease Humblewhore. After all, Scorp wasn't that great of a dancer like his grandfather was. In fact, it would be rather embarrassing for him to attempt to dance. His eyes soon moved to glance at the door which is momentarily unguarded. "Stay or go," he said, eager for some sort of plan of action.

Kendra would like to point out...that she loves Pansy immensely because this is turning out to be all sorts of ridiculous epic. She would also like to post this link...for Alex Pettyfer isn't thattt bad of a dancer, nope nope. Just look at that hip thrusts: https://www.youtube.com/v/dkqd1L6W2eo?autoplay=1

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy stared in confusion as they started to dance, and she slipped her hand into his, pulling him along with her as she headed toward the door. "Yeah, out now. Let's go..." She kept facing Humblewhore, just in case, but the giant rabbit had closed her eyes and was dancing along to the beat in her own strange little bunny dancing world. However, the closer they got to the door, the more compact the students circled around them, and just before they were able to make one last mad dash for the door, several of them reached out and grabbed Pansy, trying to drag her into their midst. She elbowed one, kicked another, but for everyone she knocked away, two more took their place. "Scorp!" Yep. This one is shorter than the more recent posts, but idk, it requires a reaction now. So I'll leave it at this.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius allowed Pansy to lead him towards the door, hoping that they'll be able to make it out of there alive. Everyone appeared to be rather into the dancing so it seemed like maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to get away. Sure enough, that plan is foiled again. Sansy sure does have rotten luck. He was momentarily shocked when she is grabbed by the ghetto kids. "Pansy!" he said, rushing forward and shoving some kids off of her. He threw a punch to the nearest kid and slowly made his way through the crowd by shoving and punching his way in. After all, seeing Pansy get dragged by those kids resulted in a rush of adrenaline. He finally made his way to her, kind of like in some slow motion sequence in an action movie. It is all so very intense. "Come on," he said before punching another approaching ghetto kid in the jaw. He grabbed her hand, pulling her through the opening in the crowd and heading once more to the door.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy held to his hand desperately, like a lifeline, and she followed him out the door. The crowd followed them, but were shoving them out the door this time. Despite the fact that the tides had changed, Pansy clung to Scorpius for dear life, as she didn't intend on being dragged back into their midst. Finally outside, the doors were slammed behind them, and Pansy turned, looking back at the building over Scorpius's shoulder and she still clung to his space suit at his chest. She finally decided they weren't coming out of the building after them and blinked up at Scorp. "Well that was..." She thought a moment, before simply laughing. "I don't even know. A little terrifying, but mostly just... strange. But I told you. I didn't think this was Mars or Pigfarts... and obviously it's not." His hair was all messed up from all the epic fighting he'd done just now to save her, and Pansy had to try hard to resist reaching up to fix it and touch it.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

His breathing was deep as they rested outside for a moment once they were outside of the building. "I don't know where the hell we are, but there's no way this is Pigfarts. I don't understand," he said shaking his head and leading them back to the spaceship. "I was so careful with reading the radar and map! You didn't... you didn't mess with the controls at all, did you?" he asked, recalling her being near the control panel by herself at one point. "Please tell me you didn't," he said flatly. After all, then this would be allll herrrrr faultttt. Tsk tsk. He led her into the ship, glad that they were safely aboard before promptly starting up and getting off of this planet. "So...did you touch the controls?" he questioned while sitting down and giving her a look which basically tells her to tell him the damn truth.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy lifted an eyebrow and looked at him seriously. "Yeah, I did." She followed him inside the ship, standing in front of his chair and crossing her arms. "But I put it back. You can't pin this on me, Scorp." She shook her head at him and took her helmet off, siting it aside and pulling off the gloves for the suit. "I changed it, but I put it exactly how you had it before afterwards. I figured you were right after all and let it go on your path you'd set. It wasn't me who got us here." She reached down and tugged at one of her boots, trying to get it off as well.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

"Pansy," he said with a groan while shaking his head slightly. "Even if it was for a slight moment, that messed with the path of the ship! Fuck. Listen, next time you seriously have doubts about my navigation skills, which are pretty dead on, please just let me know! Even if you did put it back to how it was, it still effected the ultimate destination. Hence...why we just faced a massive dancing bunny. Now, can I trust you to keep your hands to yourself and let me get this thing to Mars?" he questioned.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy rolled her eyes, finding arguing this point, well, pointless. "Well, I'm soooorryyyy," she added a little sarcastically. "But are you sure you really want me to keep my hands to myself? Just make sure before I agree to it. Venus is a long ways from Mars." She circled behind his chair, tracing her fingers lightly across his cheek. "What a shame, really, if I would just ignore you for the rest of our time on the ship." She crossed to a window and looked out at the building, which stood there just a huge and somber as when they had arrived. She leaned over and tried her boots again, tugging one off and starting on the others.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius couldn't help but look at her with a slightly irritated expression. Trust her to go and sift through his words. "I meant hands off of the control panel," he said, standing up from the seat after her fingers lightly trailed along his skin. He moved to the control panel, eager to get them off Venus and to also put some distance between the two of them before she can really get to him. "This is the only thing I don't want you touching," he said as he slowly started the ship back up. When everything was good to go, he moved over to where he was and gently led her to sit down, pushing her down and quickly buckling her in. "After all, I think we both know that it's nearly impossible for you to keep your hands off me," he said with a smirk as he sat down in his seat and buckled himself up. "Now, fifteen seconds to lift off...want to count it down?" he asked.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy laughed and shook her head. She thought about making a joke about how she'd make him lift off in 15 seconds, but resisted, thinking that for once he wasn't up for that kind of talk. "Go ahead. I might count wrong and land us on Jupiter." She came back over to her chair and took a seat, buckling herself up and tapping her fingers impatiently on the arm of the chair as she looked over to Scorpius and smirked. "Go on." Ashley apologizes that this post is so short. She's not sure what else to say.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

"Fine," he said rolling his eyes. After all, landing on Jupiter would be terribly bad. Who knew, maybe they would meet Slumberslore if they did. He glanced over at the controls, noting that there was seven seconds left before he count down to one in a slightly bored voice. "Annnndddd blast off!" he said as the ship rose through the air and started to zoom to what he hoped was finally the right direction. When the ship leveled out and they were in space, he unbuckled his seatbelt once more and pushed out of his seat to check the control panel. "Alright, we're definitely on the right path now," he said, carefully comparing the radar and maps.

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy crossed her arms and watched him check the controls. "I'll just stay here so I don't breathe on it by accident. Not really a fan of meeting Bumblesoar or Slumberslore. They're probably not as accommodating as Humblewhore was." She watched him boredly, crossing one leg over the other and tracing her toes along the ground. "Just going to sit here like a good girl. Touching nothing. Looking at nothing. Doing... nothing." She made a fake pouting face, planning on just bothering him about this until he snapped, because it was just far too much fun to irritate him. Such an easy thing to do.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Scorpius closed his eyes and counted to ten as she continued to go on and on and on. She was acting like a child pushing his limits right now. "Alright, you can touch things...okay? Just avoid this area over here," he said, motioning to the control panel. He floated back over to the area where she was, then moved to sit down in his abandoned seat. "You can do whatever you like, alright?" he said, trying to hide his irritation with how she was reacting to what he had said. "Do I need to be your cruise ship director? Do I need to entertain you? Bring out the beans again?"

[Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy]

Pansy turned and scowled at him. Well that was easier than she'd expected. More irritated than she'd expected too. "Merlin, Scorp, what's wrong with you?" She turned to sit sideways in her seat, wrapping her arms around her knees as she studied him. "You go from punching crowds of people to save me, to this? You're giving me whiplash." She tilted her head, trying to figure him out. That was the thing about him, maybe, that intrigued her so much. She couldn't figure Scorp out like she could other people. She never quite knew what he was thinking.

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