Re: The Library: Between The Stacks

**Sirius Black** October 22nd 2010, 4:05 am

Caradoc smiles and pecks Remus on the cheek again, then gathers his things and leaves.

**Remus Lupin** October 22nd 2010, 4:12 am

Remus waits till Rad is gone then gets up and leaves, himself, going...somewhere.

**Ravenclaw Mod** October 23rd 2010, 6:09 pm

Luna walks in and returns her pink book.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 24th 2010, 2:44 am

Pansy walks in and checks out a black book.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:20 am

Draco had taken refuge in the library for the night now after having overheard his roommates talking about a party that would be happening in the common room that evening. There was nothing that appealed to him less at that moment than dealing with his drunk housemates, also there was a chance Scorpius and other of Pansy's friends would be there and he wasn't in the mood for a fight, there was no way he wanted to do anything that would make her dislike him more. Sitting in a small alcove tucked between two shelves he was in the back aisle of the library with a dead end one side of him and a small opening the other, the last place anyone would ever come to look for a book.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:27 am

Pansy had made her way up to the library, as had been custom for essentially every day of school since that first or second week. She'd picked up a book or two in the front, but had a few other things she wanted to grab as well back in the astronomy section. they tended to keep those all together in a back corner where it was darker and quiet and actually one of Pansy's favorite places to study. She took her time walking through the stacks, skirting around the outside edge of the library as she reached the back corner, not in any particular hurry because the longer she spent in here, the less time she'd have to be around other people and less of a chance there was for her to be forced to show up for the party.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:45 am

Draco looked up as someone walked past him. Pansy. He uncurled himself from his chair and stood up, moving out of the shadows so she could see him. "Hi Pansy." He leant against the opposite shelf, blocking her way in the narrow aisle. "How have you been?" He wished they could talk again, even just as friends so they could go to dinner and laugh together. He watched her turn around and looked at the light from the sconces playing on her face.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:49 am

Pansy had been skimming the titles on the spines of the old books, trying to read the faded gold letters when she heard someone speaking to her. Again, she didn't have to look to know his voice. Without turning away from the books, she continued to run her finger along them, searching for something that sounded interesting or useful. "Hello, Draco." She tugged a book out from between the tightly packed volumes, flipping through a few pages of it before she shoved it back into place with a little more force than necessary. "I've been fine." She continued on her search, still not looking at him.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:55 am

He watched her violently manhandle the books, it was probably his fault. As she kept looking he read some of the titles next to him and realized why she was here, it was the astronomy section. He'd never been all that fond of spending time in the library so he had no idea which part he had chosen as his little hideaway. "Are you looking for something? Can I help you find it?"

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 2:59 am

Pansy shrugged in response to him, pulling out another book to look at. "I'm just looking." She flicked her eyes up to meet his for the first time, intending that they were as expressionless as last time, though she could never be sure. "Just wasting my time." She put the book that was in her hands back on the shelf, tugging out another one that seemed to be of more interest to her. She kept that one in her hands as she looked at Draco again. She wanted to ask him what the hell he wanted, why he was here pretending nothing had happened, but she couldn't. She just looked at him in silence, waiting for him to say something more, resisting the urge to just step around him and leave.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 3:18 am

She looked right at him when she said "Just wasting my time" and he couldn't help but feel that she was talking about him as much as the book. Pulling a random book out of the shelf next to him he smiled slightly, "I remember this one." It was one of the first books she had read about astronomy and it had taken them both nearly a month to struggle through together, then again reading a fifth year level book at age ten was pretty impressive. He wished she would say more or at least properly acknowledge the tension between them.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 3:22 am

Pansy almost smiled when he pulled out that book, one she'd read cover to cover countless times since their first time trying to read it. Of course, not much of it had made sense to a ten year old, but she loved finding that she understood more of it every time she read it after that. But the almost-smile was quickly snuffed out as she pulled another book from the shelf, rifling through the pages and holding onto it as well. She didn't bring up what happened, she didn't ask what was going on, because at this point she truly did not care. She felt as if it didn't matter what had happened and it didn't matter if they talked about it or not right now, because she couldn't look at him without remembering it and she'd forgiven him and let him use her and reuse her too many times before. It wasn't happening again. She glanced at him a second, then moved to step around him.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 3:36 am

Draco knew that she had to be remembering the same things as him and he wondered how she could just give it all up so easily. As she tried to step past him something in him shifted and he moved to block her path. "I'm sorry Pansy but can we just talk about this? What else can I do to prove to you how I feel? What else do you want from me?" He knew it would irritate her that he wouldn't let her past and that he was 'controlling' her again but this time he wasn't going to give up that easily.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 3:50 am

Pansy looked down and bit on her lip as he stepped in front of her. Here we go again, not allowed to leave until they talked about it. And when the talked about things, it tended to get messy. She figured now would be no different, but hey, maybe she'd be surprised. "Draco, I don't want anything from you. You don't need to prove anything to me. If you try and prove something else to me, all these separate little personalities of yourself are going to drive me insane." He'd proven himself as her childhood other half, a best friend, a potential future love interest, an oblivious teenage boy, a violent pureblood son, a Death Eater to be. She didn't need him to try and prove anything else to her. She'd seen enough of how he felt.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 4:33 am

"I'm sorry that it's so confusing to you, all the different masks I use but if there's nothing I can do then why are you still acting this way?" He didn't understand what was wrong with them, if she understood or at least knew that there were different parts of him then why couldn't she see what he did? Tell which parts were real and which parts were merely acts. He didn't want to fight with her but he honestly couldn't understand and if he had to keep her here all night so that she could explain it to him then that was what was going to happen.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 4:45 am

There it was again, Draco apologizing. Why couldn't he have genuinely apologized earlier, back before, after their first fight? Why now? She supposed if he had before it wouldn't have mattered anyway. He probably still would have talked to Bella and Evan and gone ahead with everything his father laid out for him. "Draco, I used to know you better than I knew myself. But when it comes to the point where I can't even tell which you is the real you, I can't deal with it. There shouldn't have to be multiple masks you wear. That need shouldn't even exist, and if you're playing your part so damn well that I don't even the difference anymore, then congratulations. Your father will be ecstatic." She dropped the books into her bag and readjusted it on her shoulder, stepping to the side once again and moving past him.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 5:45 am

"The need shouldn't exist but it does and you damn well know what my choices are." When she mentioned his father he couldn't stop himself from stepping backwards and putting an arm out in front of her so that she couldn't step forward again without hitting him. "I'm sorry you can't tell the difference but what would you like me to do? Put a tag on every time I'm pretending and trying to fool someone? This is for me Pansy, so that I can keep everything I want and so that I don't have to lose anything, well it seems anything except you. I just wish there was a way to make this easier on both of us."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 5:52 am

Pansy stopped midstep, keeping herself from running into his arm, but just barely. She didn't look at him for a moment, just stared straight ahead, annoyed. Finally she turned to him once he'd stopped talking. "There's not a way to make it easier for us both, Draco. It's either easier for you or me, or we split up and deal with whatever comes our own ways. No matter what we do, we can't keep everything." She stared at him. He ought to know this. He should have learned that he can't possibly keep everything just how he wants it. It was impossible. "You can't have everything, Draco. Eventually there's a choice to be made of what to keep and what to lose, and unfortunately you've already made that choice before you realized what was happening." She pushed his arm away, spinning his shoulder back a little as she did. His face was gaunt, thinner than it usually was, and though they were somewhat hidden, Pansy noticed the bags under his eyes, the dullness in his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping, probably hadn't been eating, and it didn't matter how much he might have built up muscle, he was weakened by the lack of rest and nourishment. She moved to leave again, and wondered why she always walked away from him and never just ran. He always found another way to stop her, and as she took a few steps away from him right now, she knew she wouldn't be surprised to find him standing in her path again in a matter of seconds.

**Draco Malfoy** October 26th 2010, 5:28 pm

He hated hearing what she was saying, he knew it was true but he would do everything he could to keep everything. At this point the choice in front of him was his family and his future or her and he knew he could never make that choice. Pushing past he he was surprised that she would actually physically shove him and he found himself moving aside despite his wishes. He needed to sleep at some point soon but he couldn't and he was falling into a deeper deeper spiral mess of his physical versus mental health. As she tried to step away again he quickly moved and stood in front of her again, his hand hovering over he shoulder. He was still unsure of how she would react to him touching her and he didn't want to scare her away or upset her further. "You know I have never had a real choice, what did you expect me to do? Go up to my father and tell him that I don't like what the Dark Lord does and that I want out? You know I would be living on the street now and watching my back. I know you see this differently to me but I wish I could see it the same way you do, the world where I get a choice and where I can do what I want with who I want." He moved to lean against the wall slightly, his body protesting his earlier rapid movement.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 1:38 am

Pansy was ready to hit his arm away if his hand were to fall on her shoulder, but luckily for them both he didn't touch her. She simply stared at him as he kept talking, crossing her arms again in annoyance. "Draco, don't be stupid. I don't expect you to just prance up to dear old daddy and tell him you want out. I know that can't happen. I don't know what you should do though, because honestly it isn't up to me. This is your life, this is your problem to figure out now. I can't be a part of this anymore." With him leaning up against the wall like he was, she simply stepped to the side to pass around him. "And you should probably get some sleep and eat more than one meal a day. I know what that shit does to you." She looked at him sadly for a moment, hating how he looked. He hid it relatively well, but Pansy could tell he was wearing down.

**Draco Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 2:07 am

Draco felt his heart sink even further as she spoke. She was the last hope he had really had because as long as she could see the good in him then he could pretend it existed and he could try to fight the darkness. How could she not see that she was the glue that held him together and without her he crumbled? When she stepped past him he turned around to face her and was stunned by her words. He didn't know that anyone else had noticed anything, and if she could see what was happening why did she push him away so hard? When she turned to leave again he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and gently taking her elbow. "Please don't go."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 2:20 am

She was already breathing a sigh of relief as she walked away, having avoided an explosion like last time, but something in her snapped when she felt his hand on her elbow. Something in her simply reacted despite anything she may have been thinking, her body acted of its own self-preserving instinct, no matter what her brain may have been thinking. She jerked her arm away from his grip and turned to face him, shaking her head. "Don't touch me." She reached for him, grabbing onto his wrists. "You should just take your hands," she lifted his hands by the wrist, pressing them up against his chest, "and keep them to yourself." She pushed him back, flinging his wrists from her grip and watching, hoping that she hadn't pushed him too roughly, hoping that he would simply stagger and not fall. If he fell, she would have to fight herself massively to keep from helping him back up. But he couldn't possibly be that malnourished in just two weeks to have someone as slight as Pansy push him over. Her own hands returned to her sides, but she made no move to leave again, not yet. "Just let me go."

**Draco Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 2:33 am

Draco was shocked by the violence of her attack on him and he stumbled back into the shelves, certain that if they hadn't been there he would have fallen over in shock. He stayed leaning on the shelves looking at her, blinking and trying to focus his eyes on her again. He needed a real meal and some sleep as soon as he could get them before he managed to land himself in the hospital wing. That she would push him away like that hurt him more than the physical attack but he didn't know what to say to her. It was obvious to him now that she wanted nothing to do with him and that he was on his own but at the same time he was so afraid of that that he couldn't let her go that easily. All of his friends had slowly trickled away from him and now he had managed to trap himself in a corner and apparently he had made the choice that she was certain he had made. Everyone else assumed the same thing and even though he hadn't joined them yet all of his friends were avoiding him over it. The only people he could talk to were the Death Eaters at the school but he didn't want to meet with them, after the last time he had talked to one of them he couldn't bring himself to, not after what he had suffered as consequences.

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 2:45 am

Pansy watched him stumble back and just lean against the shelf. His gaze could have shattered her into a thousand pieces, and though she knew he was hurting and dealing with more than she would ever have to, she couldn't bring herself to just tell him it was okay and that she was going to waste her time trying to get him to see her side of things, not if he was going to continue the path he was on. She tore her eyes away from him, unable to keep looking at him if he was going to stare at her like that, like he needed her. Because as much as she knew he did, and as much as she knew he was actually sorry and needed someone right now, Pansy's a dumbshit and she just turned around and walked away, leaving the library, leaving Draco, leaving it all behind her and finding something else to occupy her thoughts with.

**Draco Malfoy** October 27th 2010, 3:44 am

Draco watched her leave and then, using the shelves as a prop, moved back into his chair. Sitting down there he leaned back and pulled his book out from the the side of the chair. There wasn't anything he could do at this point to persuade her, even if he gave her time she would probably only build a harder case against him in her mind. Opening the book he flicked his wand to brighten the sconces a little and harden the back of his chair, hoping to use the two of them to help himself stay awake longer. As he got further down his page he closed the book. He couldn't read this now, not after what he had talked about with Pansy. Dropping the book to the ground next to his bag he accio'd the old astronomy book and opened it. Flipping through he stopped at the story of Orion and started to read, losing himself in the old familiar words.

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