Re: A Cluster of Birches

**Narcissa Black** April 13th 2010, 6:11 am

[Alright! I'll just have 'em stay here. I'll just post and then pause it, okay?]

With a small smile, Cissy leaned against the tree and slid down a bit. Even though she saw through his excuse, she nodded. "I agree. With dances like that, it's easy to get lost. I usually get a headache myself, so I'm glad for the fresh air." she looked up at the stars and smiled. "It's a gorgeous night out, which sounds terribly cliche, but it's true." She lay herself on the ground and stared at the stars momentarily. "What was really made you want to leave, Sev?"

Guest April 13th 2010, 6:17 am

[kay i'll respond tomorrow]

Guest April 13th 2010, 11:14 pm

Severus sighed. Was he so obvious? Probably. He didn't have the motivation to hide it these days. "Don't like seeing her with other guys," he admitted, still feeling sick. "That, and I really do hate crowds," he continued, looking down at her. "You're a wonderful friend."

**Narcissa Black** April 13th 2010, 11:33 pm

Narcissa propped herself up on her elbows as he talked and smiled sweetly. “Thank you,” she said sincerely. “It means a lot, you saying that. I try to help everyone, but sometimes I feel like I’m more annoying than helpful.” She brushed her hair out of her face. “And you know, Sev, you’re a good friend as well.”

Guest April 13th 2010, 11:40 pm

"You've been kind to me when I've treated you like shit in the past, treated me with respect I didn't deserve. You're a good person, and I don't think you're annoying," he said, lying down as well and looking up at the stars.

**Narcissa Black** April 13th 2010, 11:53 pm

Narcissa lay down flat again and put her hands on her stomach. "I hope you're still not thinking about what happened before," she said, referring to the April Fools' Day party. "And moreso, I hope you don't blame yourself. Like you said, I could've said no." she turned to look at him. "But I didn't."

Guest April 14th 2010, 12:04 am

"I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. I wasn't that drunk," he said, angry at himself. Then another thought struck him, and he looked at her curiously. "Why didn't you say no, anyway?" he asked, bewildered. "I'm nobody's dream boy," he laughed.

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 12:10 am

She smiled a bit at his last comment and looked at the sky thoughtfully. "I'd like to blame it all on the heat of the moment, but..." she sighed. "I don't think it was that entirely. I mean, I've never really had a relationship before, and with you, an older boy, sitting there telling me how pretty I was and flattering me, I just... I just wanted to have someone view me 'that way', I guess." she laughed, almost bitterly. "It must sound stupid when I say it, but... it makes sense to me, I suppose." she looked at him once more. "Now that it's brought up, I've kind of wanted to ask you... Why did you say all those things? I mean, was it just the alcohol, or what?"

Guest April 14th 2010, 12:15 am

Severus thought a moment, and shrugged. "I honestly don't remember much of what I said, but I'm not exactly one for false flattery. Not the charming type, see?" he said with a grin. "Though I do recall you looking quite pretty that night, though not as stunning as you do now. Tell me again how I ended up with such a gorgeous date?" he said, meaning all of it. He might not care for Narcissa in that way, but there was no denying her looks. "And it's not stupid. I understand entirely. It's why I kept going back to Remus."

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 12:24 am

Narcissa felt her cheeks go red once more. "Stop it," she giggled. "By the time tonight's over my head'll be huge, thanks to you." She didn't know much about Remus and Severus's relationship, just knew that it must've been important to Severus and it upset him at times. "What happened between you and Remus?" she asked. "If you want to talk about it, that is. If not, then that's okay, too."

**Pansy Parkinson-Malfoy** April 14th 2010, 12:57 am

[I've decided that if Pansy is your drunk friend, Cissy is definitely your sober friend.]

Guest April 14th 2010, 1:46 am

Severus sat up, sighing. "It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?" he asked, remembering the last few interactions he'd had with Remus, and coming to the disturbing realization that he did, in fact, still care about him.

Guest April 14th 2010, 1:48 am

[Which should stop when Sevily starts. ]

Guest April 14th 2010, 1:48 am

[It will, don't worry.]

Guest April 14th 2010, 1:49 am

[Good.

]

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 2:24 am

Narcissa rolled on to her stomach, her hands propping up her chin. "Of course," she said. "I mean, if it was such a big part of your life, why wouldn't I?"

Guest April 14th 2010, 2:25 am

"It seems like a forever ago, honestly. We were friends, back when he first started dating Hermione. Despite him being Sirius' and James' friend, too. We started getting close. Too close. It started out as one kiss but at some point turned into a whole lot more," he said, blushing. "At some point, Sirius found out, and he went after me. Nearly killed me. But it didn't stop us. Then Hermione found out about it, and she and I got into an argument in the library, which turned into a duel when Sirius showed up. She was hit with something meant for Sirius, and she ended up in the hospital wing, though I was pretty bad off myself. Remus found me in the library unconscious, unaware of everything. We started arguing as well, and he admitted that he was just using me for the sex, that I meant nothing to him. But he meant everything to me, everything. For once I thought I'd found someone who might actually give a damn about me, see something in me. I was wrong. So that's when I tried to kill myself," he said, the last barely above a whisper, and he couldn't bring himself to meet Narcissa's eye.

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 2:37 am

Narcissa's eyes were wide, and she was sitting up by the end of Severus's story. "Merlin, Sev..." she said, her voice quiet. "I thought it was just a messy breakup, but that... That must've been really hard." she put a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that," She hadn't had any idea that Severus had ever been suicidal, though she supposed she could see why. Even so... "How are you two now?" she asked. Surely they had to have talked since then.

[Sorry for my super delayed responses!!]

Guest April 14th 2010, 3:43 am

"A lot happened after that. It wasn't quite the end," he continued. "Pansy was there when I jumped, she tried to stop me. Lily found my body. She made me promise I wouldn't hurt her like that again. I didn't speak to Remus, not for weeks. Then one night, I think it was Dee, she came running, saying Remus was dying. I ran to the hospital wing, he was so hurt, so mangled... and nobody was doing anything, nothing. Hermione was just standing there looking like an idiot. I saved his life. All he wanted to do was be around Hermione, so when he was okay, I left. I just wanted him to be with whoever made him happy. The day after that, Remus spoke to me, said he wanted to be my friend again, just friends. I couldn't say no. I went to apologize to Hermione, for everything. She, of course, being the bitch that she is, did nothing but mock me, made me admit that I loved him, and then left. At some point, Hermione and Remus got into a big fight, and they broke up. I found him trying to hurt himself, and I did all I could to be his friend, and then he started yelling at me, about how Hermione wouldn't tell him what I'd spoken to her about. So I told him. Told him I loved him, and then I left. Then me, Pansy, James, and Sirius got into that really horrible duel, and I woke up in the hospital wing. Remus spoke to me then, and once again, asked me to be his friend, and so I was. He stayed with me that night, and in the morning, Tamsyn found him asleep in my lap, holding my hand. We spent some time together, after that. James found out about everything, he hadn't known, and then he flipped out. Remus stood up for me. Sometime after that, I begged him, pleaded with him, to just give me a chance, to show him I could be good, if only he'd let me be his. He agreed, and things were wonderful, so wonderful for a while. Then one morning he just up and left, started screaming at me, Merlin knows why, told me he was leaving, that he couldn't be with me, and then he disappeared. I never found out why. A few days later he and Hermione were together again. I ran away for a while, to Hogsmeade, and Pansy came for me. Took me back to the castle. Since then, I've spoken to Remus a few times, been told he hated me a few times, been told I was worth something, told that I was worthless... I don't even know what to think anymore. A few days ago he told me he hated me, and that was the last time I saw him," he said, finally finished. He stared at the ground, realizing how much better he felt for telling someone everything. He was glad he had Narcissa to confide in. He had Pansy too, but he didn't really know where she was- it seemed she'd been avoiding him ever since she'd split with Draco again.

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 4:44 am

Narcissa gasped slightly and bit her lip, looking at Severus in shock. 'Holy shit...' she thought. She was at a loss for words, so she just leaned over and hugged him. "That... that sucks ~~royal Hippogriff~~." she said finally, albeit a bit weakly. "I mean, I've probably said it a dozen times, but I'm just... I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you, Sev. You're a good guy, and you deserve to have things go your way and I only wish they would." she said softly.

Guest April 14th 2010, 5:02 am

[-failed and forgot to post-]

Severus smiled and returned her hug. "Thank you, Cissa. But I think I'm finally nearly over all of it," he said, refusing to think about Remus any longer. "It's a lot easier with friends like you, to listen."

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 5:17 am

Her smile returned and she pulled away from the hug. "Don't mention it," she said easily. "I like listening to people. Gets my mind off boring things, like homework and essays." Her eyes found their way to the stars once more and she looked up thoughtfully. "You know, it's nights like this that I regret dropping Astronomy. I've completely forgotten what constellation is where and which star was used for what purpose." There was a silence before she spoke again. "You know, when I was younger, I was always jealous of my cousins and my sisters because they were named after stars while I was named after... some egotistic Greek legend. I do love the sky, though."

Guest April 14th 2010, 5:19 am

"The sky is indeed beautiful," he said, thinking of Lily, the brightest star he knew. "And narcissus are a favorite of mine, thanks. They're pretty flowers," he said smiling at her.

**Narcissa Black** April 14th 2010, 5:41 am

[D'aww... :3 ]

She smiled, truly thankful that he had asked her to the dance. "It's getting late; do you want to head back inside, or shall we get some sleep?" she asked.

Guest April 14th 2010, 5:58 am

[Aww indeed.]

"It's getting late, we should head back," he said, standing up and offering her his hand. "Let's go back to the common room," he said, leading the way.

-will post-

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