Re: A Cluster of Birches

Fred Weasley - Inactive March 15th 2010, 5:52 am

Fred laced his fingers between hers and turned them towards the castle.

[Where do we want to go from here?]

**Daphne Greengrass** March 15th 2010, 5:54 am

[No idea. The... library? HQ?]

Fred Weasley - Inactive March 15th 2010, 5:55 am

[The HQ would be a bit awkward since George and Fred2 are in there. The library sounds okay as long as there's not a ton of people in there.]

**Daphne Greengrass** March 15th 2010, 5:57 am

[As far as I know, no one's there.]

Fred Weasley - Inactive March 15th 2010, 5:59 am

[Okie dokie then. To the library we go! I don't care who posts first.]

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:36 pm

Severus sat down under the birch tree, pulling out a notebook and beginning to doodle. Well, at least I escaped Malfoy unseen, that's a plus, right? Thank Merlin he never came back to the dormitory, the last thing I needed last night was to deal with him after Lily and Adrian...

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:43 pm

Lily was walking along, and spied Sev sitting down, and snuck up behind him. "Hey Sev" She smiled slightly, hoping he wouldn't mind seeing her, as she walked so she was next to him and not peering over his shoulder.

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:47 pm

Severus sighed and closed his notebook. "Hey Lily," he said weakly. He didn't know what to do, what to say. His mind was a blur, his heart a mess right now. "How're you?"

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:49 pm

Lily smiled, and sat down next to him. "Well. " She hugged him tightly, as her smile faded. "It doesn't look like you are though...what's up? I mean..if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, obviously...but...I'm here if you want."

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:51 pm

Severus looked at her guiltily. There was no way he could talk to her about anything, not without her hating him forever. He'd done a lot of horrible, horrible things lately, and all of the mess in his life was his own fault. "I'm sorry, Lily. I've just... I've been losing my temper, a lot, lately. And it's like I have no self control. I've done things that I knew were wrong, but I did them anyway. I don't like the person I'm becoming," he said, staring at the ground.

Guest March 29th 2010, 9:55 pm

Lily sighed, her arm still around him. "Don't worry Sev, you're still my friend. No matter what." She lay her hand gently on his chin, turning his head carefully to meet her eyes. "I mean that, Sev. No matter what you did...you're still YOU. You can get more controlled, you can control your temper. I know you can."

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:09 pm

Severus flinched at her touch; he didn't want her quite so near him, not when she didn't even know about the monster he'd become. "I hope you're right," he said sadly, wishing he had more inner strength. The worst of it all was not feeling any remorse for what he'd done, after he'd done it all, except for what he'd done with Draco. That was the only thing he could honestly say he regretted. He thought back on his conversation with Adrian last night, the image of the blade fixated in his mind's eye. He knew what Lily would say about it, what a terrible thing it was, how evil the creator of the object must have been to make it. But he couldn't force himself to agree with her- there was no doubt about it, he loved it, wanted it. It was a beautiful, masterful creation, the dark magic embedded within the metal truly outstanding. Whoever had forged the blade was someone to be admired, in his eyes. But there was the difference between Lily and him. She wasn't tempted, like he was, she didn't give in to her immoral desires, if she even had them, which Severus doubted. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, whether he should even try to be the man he knew she wanted him to be. Was it even possible for him, to grow up in the light? Again, his thoughts drifted to the night before, Adrian tempting him again, reopening the wounds, her fingers trailing through the blood on the inside of her thigh, her eyes boring into Severus. But he'd left, hadn't he? He'd chosen to leave, to walk away, rather than take what he wanted again. Perhaps there was hope for him after all.

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:16 pm

Lily frowned as he flinched. She couldn't begin to imagine his inner struggle, but she didn't want him thinking he had to avoid her.
"Sev. " Her voice was stern. "I can't tell you anything about what happened, but don't beat yourself up over it. You don't have to be dark just because you think you are. " She looked away. "Though i'll try to be as understanding as I can."

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:25 pm

He wanted to tell her, to confess, if only to know if he was right that she would hate him forever, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, not about what he'd done to Adrian. He knew that talking to her would help, though, at least with the other things, and he wasn't sure she'd despise him entirely for them. "I've hurt a lot of people lately, Lily. I've done something that would just about kill Pansy if she knew, and I feel terrible for it. She's basically my closest friend, after you, and I hate myself so much for betraying her like this. The day she and Draco broke up, I was really upset too, about Remus. I ended up getting drunk with Draco... and doing some stuff... yeah," he said, his face AS RED AS A QUAFFLE [because I know Amethyst is dying laughing as she is reading this]. "How could I do that to her, Lily? When I know how badly it would hurt her? I'm terrified she'll find out. When I found out that Tamsyn knew I got so scared and angry, I actually threw a plate at her. I'm such a horrible person, Lily, how can you not hate me?"

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:31 pm

Lily shook her head. "Because you're more than Severus Snape, a Slytherin. You're Sev, best friend to Lily Evans, crazy but not in a bad way. Sev, it's not like you're emotionless or anything! You care. That matters. Pansy might hate you, though she shouldn't, you were drunk. Drunkenness doesn't exactly help a thought process.." She paused. "Thank you for confiding in me, though." She paused again. "Er..Tam's alright though, right? No plate damage?"

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:34 pm

"She's fine. I missed," he said, trying to smile at her. She didn't hate him, for that, at least. "Lily... that's just it, though. I wasn't entirely drunk, like he was. I still knew what I was doing... and I did it anyway."

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:37 pm

Her face fell, just a bit. "Good..and well, you weren't totally sober either. Besides, if he was drunk anyway...if you couldn't help yourself.. Unless you intentionally went and did it TO hurt Pansy, which is a different matter entirely."

[Just so you know, this isn't helping Lily's thinking he's gay. Just saying. XD]

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:44 pm

[I am very well aware, but he's not ever going to be able to tell her her raped Adrian... well, half-raped. He thought he was raping her, at the time, but he really wasn't... hence the dub-con rating...]

"I would never do anything to hurt Pansy on purpose! It would be almost as bad as doing something to hurt you, and that's just wrong," he said. "I don't know what I was thinking... it all just happened so quickly. One minute he was near tears about Pansy and the next he was- er, yeah..." he said, still pink. "I'm just so confused right now, too. I'm also hiding from Draco at the moment. See, I kind of panicked in the morning and left while he was still sleeping. He doesn't remember anything, I can only imagine him trying to figure out what had happened when he woke up. We talked a bit the other day and decided it would be best to never, ever mention what may or may not have happened. Only then I was really stupid and accidentally let something slip, and then he went into shock, and I ran away and into a pole, actually... But yeah. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I see him next, but we can't avoid each other forever, unfortunately."

Guest March 29th 2010, 10:58 pm

[I gotta go, the baby woke up. Back... Some time? Probably not for several hours. It's Passover, so I'm stuck having a long family dinner -sigh-]

Guest March 29th 2010, 11:03 pm

Lily smiled, trying her best to be encouraging. "See, you didn't mean to hurt her. If you need a hand when you face him, just call. However wrong it might've been, you didn't mean for all these problems to happen. It'll be alright...things sort themselves out eventually."

[Alright, whatever. I've got work I should be getting done anyway Razz

]

**Remus Lupin** March 29th 2010, 11:18 pm

Severus Snape wrote:[because I know Amethyst is dying laughing as she is reading this]

[heh heh heh...you were right...I AM dying of laughter right now. *hugs*]

Guest March 30th 2010, 2:07 am

Lily Evans wrote:Lily smiled, trying her best to be encouraging. "See, you didn't mean to hurt her. If you need a hand when you face him, just call. However wrong it might've been, you didn't mean for all these problems to happen. It'll be alright...things sort themselves out eventually."

[Alright, whatever. I've got work I should be getting done anyway ]

Severus managed to return her smile this time- she always seemed to know what to say. "Thanks, Lily. You're such a good friend, so understanding. I don't know what I'd do without you," he said. She might not know it, but her words meant far more to him than he'd ever admit. That she still thought there was hope for him meant everything to him; she gave him hope for himself. His hand found hers and he held it briefly, bringing it to his lips and kissing her lightly on the hand before standing up. "I should go," he said, looking back up at the castle.

Guest March 30th 2010, 4:11 am

Lily blushed slightly as he kissed her hand. "Thank you Sev. I try to be as good a friend to you as you are to me." She saw his glance to the castle, and stood up herself. "If you should go, then you should go. " She grinned at how little sense it made. "I was just planning to wander the grounds anyway. I'll see you around then Sev."

Guest March 30th 2010, 4:14 am

Severus returned her smile only half-heartedly, before turning and walking away. "Take care of yourself!" he called over his shoulder, taking off for his dormitory. While he was waiting for these problems to 'sort themselves out' or whatever they would do, he was going to get drunk. He remembered finding that last bottle of whiskey that had somehow escaped the night he'd spent with Draco, and walked into the castle intent on opening it tonight.

Guest April 13th 2010, 6:03 am

Severus quickly fled the room with her, suddenly very aware that he'd just left Lily alone with some strange marshmallow who he knew he couldn't trust, and nearly went right back in. But he remembered Lily's face last time he'd interfered, and stayed. "Sorry. Room was too... crowded," he said, sitting under the trees and looking up at her. She looked splendid with the moonlight in her hair.

[I really need to focus on my work. If you want go back up to the ball and I'll have him rejoin you later, or if you want to wait for a while we can leave them here until tomorrow.]

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