Re: [NC-17, NON-CON] Boy's Dormitory 3 (Regulus, Cormac, Antonin, Gellert)

[Guest]

[... You are the perfect Gellert Grindelwald, in case I never bothered mentioning that to you. Also, thanks to a comment Matt made, whenever I hear 'Gellert' I think of the Neopet. Thought you ought to know.]

Regulus doesn't really understand any of what Gellert is saying to him, and isn't sure he wants to. He turns away and walks back to his closet, ignoring Gellert as he undresses for bed. He catches a glimpse of himself in the full length mirror as he's only in his boxers, and is repulsed by his own reflection- so skinny, scrawny, underfed, pale- no wonder everyone kept trying to fatten him up. It didn't matter anymore- he was getting better, despite the man watching him from the other end of the room, his shockingly blue eyes fixed upon Regulus. He turns to say something to Gellert, but changes his mind, and climbs into bed after placing Patrick the giant pink teddy bear on a nearby chair so he wasn't taking up all the room. He doesn't fall asleep, not for a long time, but turns away from Gellert and closes his eyes, glad he had been able to go through with this all. "I am fortunate," he said out loud, mostly to himself, and partly to Gellert. Eventually he drifted off to sleep with thoughts of his Viktor on his mind.

[Gabriel Djinn Whiteraven]

[-used to be a Neopets addict and has always thought that, also is in fact going to go make a new one so he can play, for he is THAT BORED-]

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

[Neopets oh my god, I used to LOVE neopets! I wonder if my account is still there...]

Gellert watched Regulus silently, his gaze slightly unnerving as his eyes followed the other man's every movement, his mouth curved up a little at the corners as he spoke -- it was as if his eyes were where his hands had been, and he reveled in the memory as he pulled out a black leather book, and, the dormitory dark, lights his wand to read. His eyes dart from Regulus' pale body to the words on the page, all the while his mouth moving to silently form the words, "for the greater good," over and over before he finally drifted into sleep, his cheek pressed up against the yellowed paper.

[Realized I never ended this, sorry.]

[Guest]

Regulus entered his dormitory, feeling and looking rather dejected, his face still streaked with dried tears. Cormac wasn't here- neither was Gellert. He sat on his bed, face in his hands, and tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, but he couldn't. How could he? Dee? He knew. Viktor knew what it would do to me, if I ever found out- but he did it anyway. And I- I deserved it. I did. For what I did. This wasn't okay- things had been going better between them, they were supposed to be happy, supposed to be okay- he had Viktor back, so why was he so damn miserable? What happened with Dee didn't really matter anymore, it didn't. It was done with. He needed to get over it, not dwell on the past. He was growing frustrated with himself, and he realized he was twitching again, biting his lip in his anxiety, his eyes flickering over to the trash can in the corner. No. Stop. Don't you even think about it. You'll never do it again, never, never. But it's there. And it's tempting, so tempting- just once- and it would all go away- no. He was shaking again, remembering how it felt, remembering what it was like, the relief, the bliss, the need... He shivered as he stood up again, bending down to lift the small bags out of the garbage, staring at them and forcing back tears. He couldn't do this, not knowing that it was still here, still there, if only he'd give in. He shoved them both in his pocket, and the remaining two syringes as well, and left the dormitory, unsure where he was going.


AND NOW I'LL GO POST TO VIKTOR. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG.

[Guest]

EOWYN IS INSANELY BORED. JUST SAYING.
Eowyn may also have to brb, though.
-sigh-

Regulus walks into the dorm, still wearing his swimming trunks, as well as white t-shirt. He sits on his bed and pulls off the shirt, revealing a lovely collection of marks left by Viktor, and he smiles slightly to himself. It had been far too long, Viktor. Merlin, I love you. And your body, for that matter. And the things you do to me... He sighs and runs a hand through his still-damp hair, not sure what to do with himself, because Eowyn isn't sure what to do with him really, so he's staying here for now, unless Gellert or Faye or someone wants to come bother him. Or Cormac, BUT CORMAC IS GONE.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

RACHEL IS BORED TOO SO GELLERT'S ENTERING.
DEAL WITH LIFE.

Gellert enters the dorm, and, as soon as he opens the door, he sees Regulus sitting on his bed, shirtless. A light smile plays on his lips, but he says nothing, only brushes his hair out of his face, and leans against the bedpost, looking determinedly at Regulus, his eyes teasing as the tension grows. He clicks his tongue stud once or twice to conceal the emotion that threatened to display itself on his lips, because displaying any emotion whatsoever would be very un-Gellert-ish and Rachel is too lazy to come up with anything better than that.

[Guest]

EOWYN IS HERE FOR THE NIGHT. AWESOME.

Regulus' peaceful expression fades instantly as Gellert enters the room, and he clenches his fist instinctively. He tries to ignore him, but his piercing gaze bores into him until he succumbs. "Gellert," he said shortly, forcing himself to meet Gellert's eyes, his body language exposing his unadulterated fear of the other man, knowing full well that they were now alone, and unlikely to be disturbed. For the first time, Regulus was almost begging to have one of those loud, bustling dormitories, if only so he knew he wouldn't have to be in here alone, ever.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

"That is, in fact, my name," he says, idly twirling a strand of his hair around his finger. There was obvious fear, obvious cowardice in Regulus' eyes as they met his, but Gellert had no intention of harming the other - or not, at least, with magic. "The fact that you remember tells me that you've been dwelling on the subject, or perhaps I shouldn't flatter myself so." He smirks, his eyebrows slightly raised as he maintained an easy eye contact with the other, watching expectantly, amused.

[Guest]

Regulus' eyes followed the man's finger, twirling a golden lock of hair around it as his blue eyes seemed to penetrate him with the intensity of his gaze. "No, in fact I haven't been dwelling on you," he muttered, absentmindedly rubbing his neck where Viktor had sunk his teeth in, leaving one of the many angry, red marks across his skin. "What do you want?" he demanded, wishing with all his might that Gellert would just go away, leave, or at least stop standing in the doorway, so Regulus didn't feel quite so trapped. He had a sinking feeling that Gellert was remaining where he was entirely on purpose, and his mouth felt dry as he tried to remind himself that Viktor would protect him, he would be safe.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

The corner of his mouth twitched with obvious disbelief, but he made no mention. He cocked his head to the side so that it was resting against the door frame, and he surveyed Regulus' increasingly infuriated expression with a teasing sort of serenity. "I merely sought to stand inside my dorm," he told the other, delicately, "I was, in fact, under the impression that it was as much mine as it was yours, correct me if I'm wrong." His eyes traveled to Regulus' hand, rubbing at a reddish bite on his neck - human teeth, and he nodded towards it, asking, "Got a boo-boo, Reg?"

[Guest]

Regulus gritted his teeth, trying to suppress his anger, and failing miserably. "It's none of your concern," he retorted with a glare, because Reg wouldn't have anything more interesting to say, stupid whiny pussy. Eowyn kicks Reg. He quickly removes his hand from his neck and bends over to rummage through his drawers for clean, dry clothing, doing anything he can to avoid meeting Gellert's eyes again.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

A sickeningly, sugary sympathetic look spread across his face, a mischievous glimmer in his blue eyes. "Well a kiss makes it all better if you need assistance with that," he says, shrugging as his eyes slide from Regulus' eyes to his neck and then back, ignoring his obvious attempts to finish their conversation.

[Guest]

Regulus froze, and spun around to face him, looking livid, but also quite frankly terrified. "The last thing I want right now is a kiss from you," he snarled, slowly taking a step backward. "Haven't you already taken all that you want from me?"

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

Gellert was having too much fun with this. "Course not," he said, lightly, "your virginity was gone by the time I got to you." He pauses, silent for a moment. "Tell me, then, what is it that I took from you? Innocence? Dignity? Reputation?"

[Guest]

Regulus uses all his self control to keep himself from being an idiot and flinging himself at Gellert in an attempt to beat him to a bloody pulp. "Fuck you," he snapped, his form stiffening as his fear transformed into anger. "You, you took everything from me- and what you didn't take from me yourself, I threw away, because of you," he hissed, glowering at Gellert, his voice oozing venom. "You took it all, until all I had left was you- or I thought I did- and then you took away that illusion too. I disgust myself, seeing how low I fell, when I was with you. I won't make that mistake again, willingly," he muttered, the last barely audible, and not meant for Gellert to hear, a remnant of fear still remaining visible in his eyes.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

Gellert took a step forward, not to be menacing, only to stand closer. "You just never understand, do you Reg?" he asked, his expression softer, the taunting tone gone. "I took nothing from you, and nobody has ever, can ever, or will ever take anything from you. What you have, you make it. What you've lost, you've destroyed it. What did you think, that I loved you? I know you didn't, I know you thought of Krum all along, and I know that you knew that I knew, and I know you didn't care. I can't take away any illusion if you choose to keep it, because it's all an illusion. No such thing as reality, we have imaginations, so reality, it must be for fools. I destroyed no illusions, only made some, took nothing, and you played along. I have nothing to show for us," he says, holding out his empty hands, "and I knew I wouldn't. The drugs, maybe they weren't good for your happiness, maybe not for your health, but they should have at least been your teacher. No, though," he says, shaking his head, "You're just as ignorant as you started out."

[Guest]

Regulus bit down on his lower lip, wishing he had the words to retaliate, but found he couldn't. As much as he despised Gellert, he found himself unable to disagree with a single thing he'd said, and he loathed himself for that. Well- other than thinking of Krum all the time, as he was most certainly not thinking about Viktor when Gellert had him pinned against the wall in Hogsmeade, fucking him and hurting him in ways that his love never would. The memory reinvigorated his abhorrence of Gellert, and he stared back into his cerulean orbs. "You're wrong. I'm not so ignorant as I was- maybe I'm still oblivious, naive, whatever you want to call it- but I won't make those mistakes again. Not the drugs- and not you- so don't try and tempt me. Your efforts would be wasted," he replied, but his voice was unsteady, as though he were trying more to convince himself than he was Gellert.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

"On the contrary, I think it would be your efforts to avoid such temptations that would be wasted. And I'm certainly not wrong, Regulus, because you still think that what you messed up with was me and the drugs. You're still going around blaming people and items for things that they only went along with." Gellert's gaze was cold, but not necessarily full of dislike. "And you can wear your heart on your sleeve - as I know you do, but if it's out in the open, you can't expect that it won't get at least a little bit dirty."

[Guest]

Regulus tore his gaze away from Gellert, unable to bare looking at him any longer for shame of what he'd done, and what Gellert clearly believed he'd do again. "No. I blame myself, thanks, not you- I blame myself entirely for trusting you, for being so much a fool as to think you actually cared about me, that you were my friend," he spat, his voice full of self-loathing. "And going along with? Is that what you call it? Because last I remember, I wasn't exactly going along with it. I wanted out, and you knew that," he whispered, his fear returning.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

Gellert's eyes swept over Regulus' body, causing the other to shift quite uncomfortably in his spot as Gellert spoke, his voice measured. "Last I remember, Regulus, you were the one asking me to fuck you like an animal. That was the first time, and then the second, if I recall correctly, you pled with me again, asked me to complete you. Is your definition of consent - your definition of want - different from mine?"

[Guest]

Regulus paled and felt weak at his knees, and falls back against the wall for support. He had said those things, he had, and he knew it- there was no taking it back. "Fuck you," he mumbled, looking at him with utter contempt as he felt his eyes beginning to well with tears again. "Yes, dammit, I wanted it at first, but then you- you started hurting me- and you just kept going- and you, you left me. You left me," he whispered, the hurt in his voice evident. "And what of the times I awoke to you beside me, touching me as I slept? Because last I remember, I wasn't giving consent in my sleep."

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

"Starting hurting you?" he asked, amused, "wasn't hurt exactly what you asked for? It was to forget the past, not to make a future. And the leaving - I don't deny that I wasn't there in the morning, but I cannot say that I ever expected you to think that I would be. Perhaps I wasn't taking your inexperience into account, forgive me." There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, he didn't want Regulus to cry, didn't want him to cower - Gellert knew he would win any argument, any duel, any race, but Regulus was refusing to be his opponent, and, for some inexplicable reason, bringing pain to the other man was giving him hardly anything more than amusement. He shook his head, "And you can't tell me I was wrong, Reg, because when it comes down to it, sex and secrets are no sin at all."

[Guest]

Regulus sank bank against the wall, crumbling to the floor and putting his face in his hands as the truth of his own actions set in. He had asked for this to happen- he had, and maybe he'd been stupid- maybe it was the wrong decision- but he'd brought it upon himself. "My own stupidity astounds me, it really does," he mumbled to himself, before looking up at Gellert through the strands of hair that had fallen in front of his silvery eyes. "Then what is sin, Gellert, if not what I've done- what we've done?" he asked, his voice weak as he blinked back the tears threatening to fall. How had he ever imagined he'd be good enough for Viktor? He'd made it sound so different from the truth- he had asked for it. In fact, he had begged for it. And if he told Viktor the truth, he'd be gone as quickly as he'd come back- and yet he'd have to tell him, he couldn't lie to him- and he couldn't lie to himself, either.

[Gellert Grindelwald Inact]

Gellert bit his lip, keeping his expression impassive, unreadable. He wondered, fleetingly, whether he was telling too many truths, whether by sharing his own philosophies he was putting himself in danger - perhaps it was just that he had never told anybody anything at all. There was nothing special there for Regulus, but for some reason, he was giving the other man some explanation regardless. There was no heart for him to share, to emotions to lend to the other, no metaphoric shoulder to cry on - only a real one - it suddenly seemed as if the understanding that he had about the world was just too much, why had he been burdened with knowing? "Sin is self sacrifice, Regulus," he said, his voice soft, "when you give up yourself for some supposedly valiant act, that's the worst thing that you can do, because it helps nobody in the long run. Lust, drugs, decadence, a way out - there's nothing wrong with that at all, it's only when you try to live in the past or the future, when you give up yourself for somebody else, when you're forced to pretend that you know that the world isn't happy with you. You have to be tough, and you have to be a good actor, and you have to know you want, and everything that happens along the way, you have to remind yourself that it's for the greater good, or you'll find yourself lost in your own confusion - you have to make up your own twisted version of right and wrong."

[Guest]

Regulus stared up at him in silence, his eyes hollow and devoid of emotion, the tears no longer attempting to escape. He wraps his arms around his knees and gazed at the other man, wishing with all his heart he was wise enough to know who to believe, who to trust, who to follow- he never did, it was always a risk, and he was never sure of anything, unless someone else told him it was so. "But- what if- what if self sacrifice feels good? What if I want to give myself away, for somebody else- is that so wrong?" he questioned, his face blank as his mind slipped away to memories of giving away freely to Gellert all he had to offer, and how good it had felt at the time- to give, to be wanted, even if only for a little while, even if only while he still had something to sacrifice. And Viktor- saying no to him, it felt like the worst thing in the world- he could never object to him, never, he could only try his hardest to provide him with what was asked of him, which was never much- it was simply honesty that he craved, trust, and love. And Viktor could ask anything of him, anything, and he would give it to him without a second thought, because- "What am I, without him? I'm nothing. I'm worthless. Giving myself away, at least it gives me meaning- like I've done something good, for someone else. Made someone happy. Made them feel good, if only for a short while, because in that short while- I matter. Doing- doing all those things, with you- it hurt him, and hurting him feels like the worst sin in the world. How can something that hurts him be for the greater good?"

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