Re: A Hidden Alcove

[Molly Prewett]

Viktor pulls a look of disgust at the mention of Percy. That name will forever bring him bad thoughts of the guy that took his best friend on a lame date. "Percy...is a terrible name. That is just...No Percy vill ever accomplish any good in life," he says firmly. He smiles and gets back up on the bench with Molly. The floor was sort of cold anyway. "Hm. Not Fred and George? Vell, if I had twins I vould name them...I don't know. I hope I don't have twins."

Molly nods sagely. "You can tell a lot about a person, like, just from their name. Like, you can totally tell that someone by the name of Gertrude is a virgin, because as if anyone is ever gonna shag them, right? If I had twins, they'd have to be as cool as Gid and Fay or I'd, like, have to disown them or something. It'd just totally be for the best, you know?" she shrugs.

[Viktor Krum - Inactive]

"I think your twins vould have to be awesome. How could you be related to a Prewett, and not be, like, totally awesome? Same vith a Krum, I guess, even though there aren't as many as us...Oops. Then again, I guess my kid von't have my awesome genes unless I can find a guy that I can reproduce vith, and I just don't see that happening," he says, shaking his head. "I suppose I'll just have to teach my kid how to be awesome if he's going to be born vithout the awesome gene."

[Molly Prewett]

Molly greams. "Well you could, like, hold auditions for your kids before you adopt them and have, like, a Points of Awesome checklist or votever. That would be neato. Anyway, Viktor, I'm going to go and eat everything in the kitchens," Molly says sheepishly, pushing herself to her feet because ohmyGod she's got the munchies now. "I'll see you around," she murmurs dreamily, and kisses her BFF on the top of the head on his shoulders before shuffling off in search of foodstuffs.

[Viktor Krum - Inactive]

Viktor sighs, realizing that he's suddenly really tired. "See you, Molly," he says sleepily before she walks out. He waits there a moment, then gets up to make his way to the dorm because he's pretty sure he's got a pineapple or five hidden away under his bed. Yes, he plans on eating all of them right now.

[Molly Prewett]

[sorry - I was feeling like a fail for too long... *snuggles*]

[Viktor Krum - Inactive]

[It's fine! <3 *clingles*]

[Sirius Black]

Caradoc is here.
He's rather wishing he were dead right now.
This is disgusting, he's more depressed than Snape.
It's madness. He's my happy personality.
-cue Nikki before Molly gets here first-

[Nikki Orwell]

All of this could have been avoided if Rad had a sassy gay insane friend.
OH WAIT, HE DOES!
-Nikki enters, stage right-
"What what what are you doing? Look at your life, look at your choices."

[Sirius Black]

"... Hnnngh?"

AND WITH THAT I GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I KEEL OVER.
And really that is all I could get Rad to say.
THAT IS WHAT HE IS LIKE, NIKKI. FIX IT.

[Nikki Orwell]

"What is wrong with you?" She frowned, and pulled out her wand. "I sense this might get a little... dirty."

[Sirius Black]

Caradoc merely grunts and stares blankly at Nikki, tilting his head to the side as he looks at Nikki. "Do I look as stupid as I feel?"

[Nikki Orwell]

She looked him over critically, poking and prodding him into a grotesque position. With an decisive look on her face, she nodded. "I got you to look as stupid as you can without any magical additions. Now, just keep talking the way you are, and you'll sound stupider than you look!" The cogs in her mind were already whirling with things she could do to cheer him up.

[Sirius Black]

Caradoc groaned. "Thanks, Nikki."

THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN HAS BEEN LIKE SINCE LAST NIGHT.
HE WON'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING.
FIX IT DAMMIT.

[Nikki Orwell]

The Nikki Monster is not pleased. She wanted a reaction dammit! So, she began to prod subtly... if poking an open wound with a taser is considered subtle. She thought it was... you could be poking an amputated limb with a chainsaw. "So, what did you fuck up?" She asked conversationally, settling in for an entertaining time.

[Sirius Black]

"Everything with Fabian. I'm an idiot. I am stupider than you could possibly make me look without magic. I am stupider than stupid. I am as stupid as that kid," he said, pointing to Vincent Crabbe.

[Nikki Orwell]

Nikki nodded along. "Are you wearing a lifejacket? You seem to be drowning in self pity."

[Sirius Black]

"Not self pity. Pity for him. I hurt him for no good fucking reason, other than that I couldn't just keep my fucking mouth shut. I'm an asshole. I am a total asshole."

[Nikki Orwell]

"So you are drowning in self-loathing. That makes it all better... that river has hippopotami and alligators. Not to mention the piranhas. Much better river to drown in. Self-pity is a rather boring river, it only has jellyfish. And not even the kind that sting!"

[Sirius Black]

"Self-loathing. That's the word. Right. Hippopotami? I always thought it was hippopotamuses. But then, I'm the stupid idiot, what do I know? Oh, hell. Why hasn't an alligator eaten me yet? Where is Molly with the komodo dragons? I don't understand. Shall I go via Avada Kedavra, or should I go find an actual river to drown in?"

[Nikki Orwell]

Nikki began to tap her foot impatiently. This was not fun. She wanted fun. Therefore, only one option remained. "Rad, I am giving you a warning. Cheer up... or I make you."

[Sirius Black]

"Make me? How? I think there are two things that can fix this, and one is gillyweed, and the other is a nice hard fuck. Seeing as you are neither male nor made of gillyweed, I fail to see how this works."

OH MY GOD:



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

[Nikki Orwell]

"You clearly aren't creative enough. I can think up 3,826 to make you cheer up. Unfortunately 3,542 are illegal and of the remaining 284, 280 are highly frowned upon in civilised society." She batted her eyes innocently at him, daring him to take up the challenge.

[Sirius Black]

Oh my god so many ASOIAF comics. So much breathing that has not been done for laughter. Ohmygodcantbreathe. -cackles at Joffrey- How far into the book are you?

"So what are those last four? Because Gillyweed falls under illegal and fucking falls under highly frowned upon by society, in my case," he said, shrugging.

[Nikki Orwell]

Not far at all... -glares at schoolwork-

"Now, what would be the fun of that, giving away the ending before it happens." She smiled her most enigmatic smile, the one that took three hours of practice in the mirror before she was satisfied. "Spoilers sweetie. I don't do those."

[Sirius Black]

"Then what do you do? How about euthanasia, do you do that? Because I'm totally up for that, right about now. We should just take Caradoc Dearborn, and push him off a cliff. Insert Patrick meme here."

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