Sexaholics Anonymous for Voldemort

[Katie Bell]

Voldy, I hear you have a problem.... *Cross legs and leans forwards, looking over the top of sexy secutary glasses* Why don't you talk about it?

[Nikki Orwell]

[OH! Can I help be a therapist? Or can I be the note taker? Can I help please please please?]

[Katie Bell]

[Tam said the situations has been resolved, but oh well. Voldy still needs thios. Yes you can be my assistant!]

[Draco Malfoy]

[Haha! but really... when is anything involving Voldy resolved...]

[Katie Bell]

[That is a good point]

[Guest]

-stands on tip toes attempting to see Katie's cleavage and trips over feet and falls-

[Draco Malfoy]

[Fail Voldy! Excellent avatar!]

[Guest]

-Giggles-

[Katie Bell]

*In aid of helping Voldemort, lowers top so he can see* Okay, are we going to talk about this?



[You have no idea how many guys do that to me... hahah]

[Guest]

-stares at Katie's chest with mouth hanging open-

....What didya say? -continues staring-

[Katie Bell]

VOLDY! Snap out of it. Obviously you have a problem here. So. *Gets out clip board* Do you want to talk about anything? Anything at all? Lets start with your killing habits. Are they regular?

[Guest]

-Snaps out of it-

My killing habits? I haven't killed anyone in 37 hours. 37 HOURS.
LAST TIME I DID THAT, PEOPLE LIVED. IT WAS NOT GOOD. -suddenly frantic over my declining serial killing rates-

[Katie Bell]

Okay, okay. Calm down. Here take a barbie, and take your anger out on that. I see the problem. Im going to show you a series of pictures and i want you to tell me what you see..

*Holds up first picture*

[Guest]

-takes Barbie and starts playing with her hair while inspecting the first picture-

That there is Firewhiskey, I'd know it anywhere.

[Katie Bell]

*Looks at picture carefully* Well, the sheet i have hear says its a cat... but i can see that.. *Notes down Alchoholic*

And the next card *Holds up next one*

[Guest]

Well clearly thats a naked woman laying next to another woman laying next Pe- I mean ...Quire-
...SQUIRREL! I said squirrel. -shifty eyes-

[Katie Bell]

A Squirrel. Its actually a picture of an old professor. You wouldn't know him. Mr Quizzle or something.

*Holds up the last card*

[Guest]

Hehehe that's Harry Potter's corpse. -grins creepily-

[Katie Bell]

*Shocked* Err. Yes actually. You're right.

From what ive gathered from your anseres, and please correct me if im wrong. You are a raginf alchoholic that loves Squirrils and wants Harry Potter dead. That is fairly normal, believe it or not. So dont think you are alone.

I am rather interested in this relationship between you and Harry Potter. Would you care to elaborate?

[Guest]

-Looks away ashamed and mumbles-idon'twannatalkaboutit..

[Katie Bell]

Okay. Thats fine. We can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Any pressing issues? What ever you want. Even the weather!

[Guest]

-bounces up and down bursting with secrets-

ISTILLLOVEQUIRRELLBUTIMFALLINGFORPETERPETTIGREWANDLUNASGONNAMURDERMEANDBELLASMISSINGANDIDONTEVENKNOWWHEREREMMYIS

AND I WANT SOME LASAGNA. -out of breath-

[Katie Bell]

Okay. Lets break this down. You are in Love with Quirril. Which is totally acceptable, because as an orphan boy growing up, you would look for loave and acceptance, and finally getting that in Quirril, it will be hard to let go.

Falling for Peter Pettigrew would be bacause you lacked getting attentino as a child you are craving it, and know Peter will give it to you. That is marely lust there.

You are worried about Luna killing you because you actually care about her and the Lunamorties (Which i am Godmother to one of them (Justin))

You miss Bella and Remmy, because by marrying you they gave you the acceptance you craved. And now they are missing in you life and you feel you need their attention to be forfiled.

And the Lasagna... your just hungry. Here *Accio food and give it to Voldy* Remember to use your knife and fork.

[Draco Malfoy]

*cries because Daddy is falling in love with her boyfriend*

[Katie Bell]

Excuse me Miss Riddle. You can go next. Please wait outside while i examine your father.