Re: The Lovegood's Rook

Lysander Scamander June 6th 2010, 11:23 pm

Woah, dad had flipped! The shit had hit the fan! Lysander opened his mouth to say that the dessert was on the floor, and they had already eaten enough for a small african family to live on for a year. But just as he went to a speak that voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Lorcan said not to. I know its tempting. I was going to say it to. The voice whispered in his ear. Lysander look curiously at Lorcan... was he talking to him telepathically? Lysander shrugged... getting a weird look from his dad. It would be funny if they asked his dad to sho- Lorcan sat down and asked their dad to show them. Now this was getting weird. Dance Lorcan dance!. Nothing happened. Damn. Maybe he didnt have telepathic powers over his brother. COUGH IF YOU CAN HEAR ME!. He just stood there dumbly looking at Lorcan.

Eileen Prince June 7th 2010, 3:41 am

Lorcan coughed, looking nervously from his dad to his brother. He wasn't sure what was worse, the anger or the silence. He shot Lysander a confused look, Why isn't he saying anything? Merlin, I wish mom would walk in right about now.

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 3:44 am

Luna walks in to see a huge mess along with her husband and her two kids sitting in the kitchen. "Do I want to know?"

Eileen Prince June 7th 2010, 4:39 am

Lorcan fell backwards off the chair in shock. "MOM." He shouted, needing to hear himself talk over the thoughts flying through his head. Did I say that out loud? Can she read my mind? Is that bagel safe to eat? Wait a second, that last one wasn't his. What was going on here? Nargles. Said the Logical part of his mind before the rest of it could catch up. No, he was wearing his cork neckalace he had been given for his third birthday, that was impossible. He struggled to pull himself up off the floor but accidentally put his hand on the bagel, crushing it, and sending him back to the floor. He was awarded with a sharp yell of Nooooooo! in his mind.

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 9:35 pm

Lysanders eyes widend first with his brother coughing at his command, then at his mother entering. "Mom?" Lorcan said it at the same time and as he struggled to put himself up he slipped onto the floor crushing aperfectly good bagel. "Lorcan, that bagel was good enough to eat dammit! It had only been on the floor for like..." He did some rough calculations, "5 maybe 6 minutes. The worse thing it could have is e-coli. Or Salminela. And we both know that I had that as a toddler so I can't get that again. Or was that chicken pox... Nevermind, either way that was good food you wasted!" Now going back to the cough thing, he looked over at his brother narrowed his eyes and thought with all his strangth, DANCE MONKEY BOY DANCE. It hadn't worked earlier, but now he was sure it would. He glared harder.

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 10:39 pm

Luna looked back and forth between her two sons, then back to her husband who looked just as lost as she did. "Boys. What is going on in here? And what is this about a bagel?"

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 10:45 pm

"Mum, you are probably wondering what on earth is going on here. Don't ask me how I know that..I just do" Lysander paused, "But you see Mum, dad expressed an interest in ...er ... 'doing it', so we were giving him lessonsin how to do it best, as you both are obviusly new at this whole consept. Its okay. Some people like to wait. If you want Me and Lorcan can go through the lessons again?"

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 10:47 pm

"New to the co- Lysander! How do you think you and Lorcan were born if your father and I didn't know what we were doing, hmm? I'd like to point out that we are both quite skilled in the art of 'doing it' and we don't need help from our children, thank you very much. Now you, on the other hand, have some things to learn. There's a reason you have all those STDs, don't ya know."

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 10:52 pm

"...Er, dad told me it was a stalk th- If thats not true then what was it? IS MY WHOLE LIFE A LIE? Please... please tell me that there is nothing else that you need to tell me? Because you know my whole trust will be shattered..." He looked him mum in the eye, "Shattered" Thank God Santa was still there for him and the toothfairy. "I WENT TO THE DOCTORS I AM CLEAR. YOU CANT TALK MRS "FOUR SNORLACKS""

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 10:54 pm

Luna blinked in confusion. "Excuse me? What do you mean by Mrs. Four Snorkacks? What do the snorkacks have to do with STDs and sex?"

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 10:58 pm

"So- So you ahve been lying about that too? Oh god, oh God!" Lysander started to get hysterical. "WHAT MORE WOMEN?"

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 11:01 pm

Luna sighed and sat down next to Lysander, gently taking his hand in hers. "Lysander...I need to tell you something. The tooth fairy. The Easter Bunny," she paused. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Santa. They're not real. They're pretend. It was your father and I who put those gifts under the tree. Who put the money under your pillows and hid the Easter eggs." She gulped. Here was the big one. "Your father was the one to eat the cookies we left out for Santa."

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 11:08 pm

"Wh-What? ...Not real? I don't understand. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU." Lysander jumped up crazily. "HE MUST BE! ...Wait... so that time I saw mummy sexing Sanata Clause...That was just dad?...THANK GOD! I was creeped out th- no. I can't get off track..." He took a deep breath, "SO NOTHING IS REAL?!" He reached out and gingerly touched a worktop surface. He flinched as he touched it. "Thats real. BUT NOTHING ELSE IS!" He climbed up on to the top of the worktop surface, "Remember when I tried to jump from here to the sofa when I was 7 and I hurt myself, well now I am older and and wiser, I know that I might be able to make the jump, AND BECAUSE NOTHING REAL IT WONT HURT." And with that Lysander lept off the worktop and went flying through the air.

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 11:12 pm

Luna facepalmed. "Everything else is real. Just not Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny. Now please sit down. And you two need to clean this mess up by the way. Now! Right now before I send you both to your room- no sex. For a month."

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 11:18 pm

It was too late. Lysander was already flying in the air. It was spectacular. His arms were swinging wildly, as he flew in slow motion, his face in a defiant grin. But, he was coming up short, his face turned to a grimace and his arms sung in the opposite direction trying to right himself to land on his feet. but it was too late. His chin smacked the sofa, the rest of his body didnt make it, and he smacked into the floor in one large bang. It was silent for a few moments before, "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

**Ravenclaw Mod** June 7th 2010, 11:21 pm

Luna sighed and walked over to Lysander. "Where does it hurt?" she asked dully as she summoned the first aid kit over to them. This wasn't the first time that something like this had happened. Actually, it was starting to become a daily occurrence.

Lysander Scamander June 7th 2010, 11:27 pm

"HRHEDHE ITBS HERRRRRREEEEEEE" Lysander wailed. He pointed to his chin, where there was a miniscule cut, and a drip of blood, "AM - AM I BLEEDING? MUM?"

Eileen Prince June 8th 2010, 3:40 am

Lorcan suddenly had the urge to dance. He was also pretty sure that somewhere, somehow, someone had just called him a monkey. And so he danced. It was a magnificant sight to behold: hands were flailing wildly, feet were moving so fast they were almost invisible, and food was being ground into the tiles. He hopped up onto the counter to protect his shoes from the food that covered the floor and used Lysanders wailing as background music to his slowly intensifying dance. Hair flicks were appearing that would have made Fabian Prewett proud.

Rolf Scamander June 10th 2010, 1:24 am

Rolf enters the house, after being somewhere else (like work and not with a hooker) because Dom hasn't posted in ages and it makes more sense this way. "What the hell?!" he asks when he goes to the kitchen. "Lorcan, why are you on the counter?!" he asks in shock as his son dances it out. "What are you doing?"

**Rose Weasley** June 10th 2010, 1:30 am

Rose skips in the door of her house- yes, this is her house. Her mum is off with some older man, and her dad is god knows where. Sad days. *cough* Anyway... her reaction is pretty much the same as Rolf's as she sees Lorcan ~~doing the Soulja Boy~~ dancing ~~like a loser~~ on the counter.

Eileen Prince June 10th 2010, 1:35 am

Lorcan turned and looked at his dad and his girlfriend. "Uhh... LYSANDER TOLD ME TO." He shouted, pointing at the sobbing Lysander and their mom.

Rolf Scamander June 10th 2010, 1:47 am

"What do you mean Lysander told you to do it?! If Lysander told you to go and have sex with the slut on the corner... what was her name, Fleur? Would you do it? Would you sacrifice obtaining all those STDs because Lysander told you to?" he asks his son while shaking his head.

Eileen Prince June 10th 2010, 1:50 am

"Well, if she has STDs, yeah. We're having a competition. Whoever gets the most wins!" He ended in song, continuing his dance to Lysanders wailing.

**Rose Weasley** June 10th 2010, 1:54 am

Lorcan must've forgotten Rose was here, because she is standing there in the doorway with her mouth open in shock. She clears her throat. "Oh, would you now?"

Rolf Scamander June 10th 2010, 1:57 am

Rolf gives Rose an apologetic look before looking back at this son. "Lorcan, I am disgusted that you would sink to the same level your brother is on! Have you no pride? What about your girlfriend?!"

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