Re: The Lovegood's Rook

[Daphne Greengrass]

"SO. EMOTIONAL." Dee looks around awkwardly. "I'm not even supposed to be here... I just wanted to make a cake filled with rainbows and smiles..."

[Ravenclaw Mod]

Luna runs down the stairs and wraps Lysander in a big hug. "LYSANDER! I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!"

[Lysander Scamander]

"Mum....Gerroff" He pushed her away gently. 'Cause he still loved his mummy. But he wanted sex, and with his dad banning it he could not live under thsi roof any longer.

[Rolf Scamander]

"Luna, I don't know what's happened to him," he says solemnly while staring at his son in disbelief. "I don't know the person he has become. Tell me Lys, what did you think about the real world? Was it all it's cracked up to be?" he asks his son while looking at his ragged clothes.

[Lysander Scamander]

Lysander glared at his dad when he said that. Nothing was wrong with him. He was fine, living life like this. "Well..." He rubbed the back of his neck uneasily, "Apparently those holes in the ground... er man hole? Yeah, they arn't toilets, and did you know girls don't like it when you try to pay for sex? I was just trying to say thanks!"

[Rolf Scamander]

Rolf blinks, digesting this information. "Well I'm sorry about your bathroom situation," he says. "And I'm sorry that you were trying to pay girls for sex. First off, you probably should have tried to keep the money for yourself. You'll need it at one point. Second, you don't go and try to pay girls for sex unless you find them under a red light."

[Lysander Scamander]

"Wait..." Lysander reaches for a note pad, "Red light..." He notes it down. "Anymore tips for me?"

[Rolf Scamander]

"If things smell or look fishy, it's not worth it," he says. "ALWAYS use protection. Even if you claim you want a baby, there are still STDs you could get."

[Lysander Scamander]

"Okay." He notes down whilst mumlbing, "Fish = Bad. No glove, no love... STD's = baby = good?"

[Rolf Scamander]

"What? No! STDs do not equal baby! And baby is not good yet! Please Lys, wait at least three more years. You're still in school and your mother and I don't have the time, patience, or money to be taking care of your child. We've already got our little baby girl that we're adopting."

[Lysander Scamander]

"They don't? But I though STD stood for Sexual Tension Day. That makes so much more sense..." He starts to mumble to him self, "So if STD doesnt mean that then what did Tam mean when she said 'I have an STD'?"

[Rolf Scamander]

Rolf nearly facepalms. "No son. An STD is a sexually transmitted disease. That's why it's important to use a condom to prevent transferring diseases. These diseases don't have to be passed just through good old regular sex. Even just by touching, you can get an STD."

[Lysander Scamander]

"Just... regualar... sex?" He whispered although it was a poisionus word. "What in the hell is that? I'm more for the lotus twist and other such like things. Oh, and is it bad if you ahve a burning sensation when you Pee?"

[Ravenclaw Mod]

"A burning se-?" Luna facepalms. "We need to get you to a doctor."

[Lysander Scamander]

Lysander look around innocently. "Why am I going to the doctors? I'm not ill."

[Rolf Scamander]

[Sorry Lucy! I forgotttt]

"A burning sensation, is bad. Very bad Lys. It could easily mean you have an STD, and with the way you've been acting lately, I wouldn't be surprised. We'll take you to the Healers and they can find a potion to give you to make it all better. How does that sound? You might even get a lollipop!"

[Peter Pan]

[bahahahahahahahahaha]

[Molly Prewett]

[dude - skype?]

[Lysander Scamander]

[Sorry Lucy! I forgotttt]

"A burning sensation, is bad. Very bad Lys. It could easily mean you have an STD, and with the way you've been acting lately, I wouldn't be surprised. We'll take you to the Healers and they can find a potion to give you to make it all better. How does that sound? You might even get a lollipop!"

"Bu- Wait... A lollipop? Oh my gosh! PLEASE. CAN WE GO NOW? I REALLY WANT ONE." He starts jumpoing up and down like a child. "Hey is it the more illness' i have the more Lollys I get? Because in that case; ..." He started listing off a variations of physical afflictions "...And it bleeds loads and I am pretty sure blood isnt supposed to come from there. Especially in a guy."

[Rolf Scamander]

Rolf blanches when Lys tells him that blood comes out of the penis too. "Alright Lysander," he says rushing and putting his coat on. "Let's go, NOW. You may not get another lollipop, but I'll buy you one if we go and get this whole mess taken care of now."

[Lysander Scamander]

"Right now? Like... now?" He asked pulling a diary out from know where, "Now doesnt work for me. How about, a week tuesday. I've got Dee tomorrow, Then Hitting on Dom, then trying to get Rose. Yeah. Booked full really." He looked at his dad. "I can pencil you in?"

[Rolf Scamander]

"Do you want your penis to fall off? IT WILL FALL OFF. SEX WILL NEVER BE POSSIBLE AGAIN! I don't feel comfortable with you talking and hitting on girls when you have an STD. Especially this Dom girl, stay away from her Son. Rumour has it that she is pregnant and doesn't like guys like you hitting on her."

[Lysander Scamander]

"Never....?" His face drained of blood and his hands flew to his crotch, "THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!" And with that he flew out the door on a mission to save Gods greatest gift to women; LYSANDERS PENIS.

[Penelope Rosier]

[oh...my...rowling...this is so freaking hilarious.]

[Peter Pan]

[*is enjoying reading this thread*]

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